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How to Annoy Me

Neglect to inform me that “Felicity” is in syndication. Do you know how many episodes I’ve already missed?

Feeling Guilty

For rationalizing that if I’m eating for two now, why not eat for TWELVE?

Crazy Peeing Pregnant Lady

While I was totally prepared for the onset of nausea and fatigue and bloating and complete emotional instability, the one thing I didn’t know would happen during the early stages of pregnancy was that my bladder would spontaneously sprout its own holding tank, a reservoir of piss, if you will, so that God forbid I [...]


I was actually going to write a post about the comments I’m inevitably going to get now that I’m pregnant from people who think that my website should be a place for them to live out their wild and drunken fantasies, people who have come here and said before that marriage and moving to Utah [...]

How to Annoy Me

Come within 20 feet of me after consuming a Budweiser Beer. You can’t hold me responsible for the vomit on your shoes.

How to Charm Me

Ask me with genuine 5-yr old concern why my dog’s “front bottom” is pink and sticking out.


Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man: Out of Season


How crazy would I have to make my signature before someone would actually notice?

Feeling Guilty

For getting into my car and driving to the grocery store just to buy a box of cake batter.


It’s officially time to break out the Utah Baby Namer.