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You’ll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you…

So I’m standing on the eliptical trainer at the gym this morning fighting the urge to take my heart rate above 140 beats per minute, a level I think is wholly ludicrous given that my heart rate can jump to 170 at the mere mention of Britney, but the doctor says that if I’m going [...]

20 Weeks, Photo Collection: The Non-Photo Gallery

My belly at 20 weeks:

Listening

Beulah: When Your Heartstrings Break

Thinking

I know I’m supposed to feel pregnant and sexy, but right now all I feel is pregnant and water retention efficient.

How to Charm Me

Let me use your torso as a body pillow.

How to Annoy Me

Try to kiss me while I’m sitting on the toilet. I know it may surprise you, but I DO have boundaries.

Feeling Guilty

For blaming Little Debbie for my 10 pounds in 4 weeks weight gain, that fucking bitch.

Battle of the Bump

In less than two weeks Jon and I find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl, or God forbid one of each or two of one. I think my fears of giving birth to multiple babies may be a little more profound than the average pregnant woman, as twins run rampant in both [...]

Reading

The all caps, completely insane comments being left every day at Blurbomat on the whore pages of Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton.

18 Weeks, Photo Collection: A Year in the Life of Heather’s Hair

While organizing our digital photo library last week — a collection of over 4,000 photos taken since Jon and I have been together — I was reminded of what a terrible year in hair I’ve had. I don’t remember a more terrible year in hair, not even when my mom cut it all off in [...]