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How to Charm Me

Love me despite the fact that you can’t tell whether that was me burping or the sound of a three-ton snow plow driving by our house.


This is the most horrifying webpage in the history of the internet.

How to Annoy Me

Ask me if you can touch my belly button. I’ll just go ahead and ask you to shrivel up and die.


The Relaunch of Mr. Pants

The Point at which Every Post is Going to be a Post Where I Freak Out About This Pregnancy

I have officially entered my 37th week of pregnancy, which means that I have passed the landmark 36th week, the week after which they say the baby can make a safe appearance at any time. I thought that when I finally got to this point that I would feel calm and peaceful with what is [...]

Feeling Guilty

For feeding my dog Pop Rocks.