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I’m pretty sure I’m going to give birth to an 8-lb Nacho Cheese Dorito.

Feeling Guilty

For hoping that this baby doesn’t decide to make her entrance into the world during the season premiere of “Survivor.” She needs to get her priorities straight early.

How to Annoy Me

Tell me that I’m not allowed to go into labor until after I run a few errands for you. What do you want me to do, CROSS MY LEGS?