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Number of times the word “boob” has been uttered in my household today: WAY. TOO. MANY.

Happy Second Annual Dooce Got Fired Day

With all the exciting sleeplessness going on in the Armstrong household I somehow managed to forget the anniversary of losing my job because of this website. If you are unfamiliar with what happened you can read about it here or here, but all you really need to know is this: You shouldn’t write about your [...]

Feeling Guilty

For continuing to gobble up my baby’s chubby neck when the screaming and the flailing of the arms indicates that she no longer enjoys the gobbling up of the chubby neck.

My Unsolicited Advice

Throughout the nine months of my pregnancy Jon and I were warned constantly by other parents to enjoy sleeping while we could. Many of our friends even suggested that we stock up on sleep, as if it were something you could seal in a Ziploc bag and toss into the freezer, something you could warm [...]


Ten Things I Miss About My Pre-Mommy Life

How to Annoy Me

Discontinue your supersized fries, flagrantly disregarding the needs of pregnant women everywhere.

Someone Give Me a Cookie, I Made It Through One Month

Leta was born four weeks ago this morning. I cannot possibly tell you how significant this is, as I honestly didn’t think I would ever make it past the four day mark. To celebrate, Jon and I are going to get sushi on Friday night as my mom takes care of Leta, and it will [...]

My Husband, The Bank Robber

Although Jon has already written something about his recent run-in with the law, I believe the whole incident deserves mention here if only because the whole thing was my fault. It’s my fault that 10 minutes after he left for work last Tuesday morning he had to turn around and drive back home to take [...]