Have mercy on me, baby

  • http://james deli clerk

    p.s. turn ons include meat curtains, and mustards.

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I hear ya’, Striz. I haven’t given birth to any babies yet so they are still singing quite loudly.

    I really need to try and look at the sperm a little more often – I want babies!!!

  • http://maddenvision.typepad.com/maddenroundtheland/ cathi

    Yeah – so I’ve only gotten so far as comment #560 because my computer crashed on me today and I’m trying to catch up.

    Raz. You can amuse me, and I love you for that. But let me mix some metaphors because I’m a lightweight and the wine is kicking in (CHEERS to the ladies! This one’s for you!)… You have a tendency to come here and climb up on a soap box, and the whole comment police thing is really unbecoming. You’ve stated your point, and it was a good one. There should be no witch hunt for Matt Jacksons (or Matt Johnsons, my God – The The’s lead singer would not have done this!). But getting Strizz all worked up and going back and forth has completely taken the focus off of that great point.

    Please, for the love of all things holy, stop.

    If this has already been addressed since post #560, I apologize, and beg you to continue as you were and forgive me for speaking before being fully aware of the conversation.

    Peace out. Word.

  • Ghost Monkey

    *bows to Carmi while at the same time baring his red ass to sophie*

  • http://holyschmidt.blogspot.com Melanie S.

    I want to smooch on her cheekies! Oh, so cute!!!

  • http://nonpromqueen.com Stacey

    Dooce should sue Purerave!

  • http://james deli clerk

    you: Crazy girl running twords me tripping over feet and balls, a vision of grace.
    me: I barely had time to rinse and hand back the balls when you fled.

  • http://jbsides.blogspot.com Jodi who blogs

    She is adorable. That look will get her far in the years to come. :)

  • jenny g

    Does that mean he’s been redooced?

    (okay that was pretty bad.)

    Is he the undooce?

    Perhaps “fuckwad” is a better term.

    I’m tempted to see if there is a “fuckwad.com”, but I’m worried that there is, and I’m not gonna wanna see it.

    Kristine, that was pretty funny.

  • http://writteninc.blogspot.com Carmi

    I love this comment thread. What it has to do with a lovely picture of a lovely child I am not yet sure. But you have collectively written something that is funnier than any stand-up comic I’ve ever seen. Thanks, everyone!

  • Melinda

    love the cute picture and the 2 Loretta Lynn titles!

  • Leslie

    Remember the last time someone stole her belly pics? Dooce got all “I will sue your ass into the ground, you crazy fuck” and she took them down.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    You packin’ heat, LadyBug. My years of imaginary martial arts training is still no match for your Glock.
    I may be a pig, but hell, I ain’t stoopid!

  • http://ladymadaysia.blogdrive.com Relentless Christian Amber



  • http://nonpromqueen.com Stacey

    So Heather does know where he works for SURE?

    Where did I miss that?

  • http://www.mycircuslife.blogspot.com Circus Kelli

    Ladybug: Your comments had me giggling at my desk here! Shame on you! LOL

    I love you, too, man…

  • Instigator Monkey

    Bucky, you know as well as I that poopy and Monkey Just. Don’t. Mix.

    and STAY the SHIT away from me with that bottle of Old Spice, you sadistic freak!

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine


    Fired for hate-emailing a woman who got fired for her blog.

    Yeah, that will look so good!

  • sophie

    Yay! Stay dead monkey/minkey. Take Mouse with you while you’re at it.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Sassy Monkey, sittin’ in a tree
    Throwin’ his own p-o-o-p
    First comes dung
    That he’s flingin’
    He’s pissed ’cause the aftershave is stingin’

  • jenny g


    You. Are. My. Hero.

    Don’t let this one moron cancel out the rest of us – you know, the people WITH BRAINS.

    If I knew you, I’d make you a very nice grande cappuccino with microfoam and maybe a touch of hazlenut syrup if you’re into that kind of thing. THAT would cancel the motherfucker out. (and I might have signed him up to receive special offers from j.c. penney. Don’t worry, just click here to remove yourself from the list!! Tee Hee!)

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Oooh, Circus Kelli, sorry ’bout that. Don’t want anyone getting Dooced-by-proxy. (I fear I’m at risk, myself.)

    And Bucky – It’s Deputy Dad’s Glock. He packs the heat. He packs it real good.
    Whew. Is it warm in here all of a sudden, or is it just me?

  • Eddie Garrett

    You’re diggin’ that Loretta Lynn CD also, huh? Have Mercy on me, Baby!

  • RazDreams

    #633 says, “there must be a way to remove someone like that from a position of power. Creative ideas?” here’s an original one: have *dooce* forward his e-mail to his employer directly (since she knows who it is for certain) without shaming him publicly and pushing him deeper into the sick hole that he lives. that’ll definitely shame him more than all the anonymous hate mail he’s sure to be receiving…

  • http://www.mycircuslife.blogspot.com Circus Kelli

    Dang Cold: I’d get those ovaries of yours checked out if I were you.

  • Sarah M

    She is the perfect blend in that picture. I can see both You and Jon.

    And isn’t she becoming pretty!
    *blows a kiss Leta’s way*
    (but i’m really dying to snuggle her to peices instead)

    Sarah x

  • http://nonpromqueen.com Stacey

    Kimberly, it’s not a website per se.

    Plus, anyone who steals belly photos and ultrasound pics deserves it.

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Bucky: Consider yourself reminded.
    (I’m kidding, of course. I KNOW you could totally kick my ass. Please don’t hurt me, Bucky.)

  • http://ladymadaysia.blogdrive.com Relentless Christian Amber

    I can’t believe I am actually up this early in the morning and on the computer. I actually thought, “Hey, I’ll go check Dooce and maybe I will be an early commenter this morning.”

    But nooo she had to go and post really freakin’ early.

    And that Leta, she’s just so chock full of cuteness. I wish I could have a girl and have her be that cute. :)

  • http://harlowandtheboys.blogspot.com/ greenthumb

    Kimberly….that guy has me fired up I tell you. I’m a good person who never fronts anyone and I’m the first to call for mediation and understanding, but seriously, that was either a really bad attempt at a joke or some one is so messed up in their own life they can’t see straight.

    I agree…no haters. It’s not good and no good comes of it. But it’s so hard to hold back on that one.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    OH MY uppercase GOD!
    I get pulled into a meeting and WHAT HAPPENS HERE?
    Sweet, mild LadyBug flips her spots and drills the poor, sexy monkey with a silver bullet? And not the kind from libida.com.
    And LadyBug made Baby Jesus cry. My universe is turned upside down.
    Angel monkey, we miss your poop flingin’, your ass showin’, your tic-pickin’ opposable thumbs, your monkey boners that peeked coquettishly out of those form-fitting diapers ‘Manda always picked out for you, your fascination with your own orifices, and the way you’d smile like the Mona Lisa, kinda mysterious, before you’d piss all over the dinner table.

    A moment, please.

    Okay, let’s talk about them Ben Wa balls, then!
    CanAmy: You should maybe write to Reader’s Digest for “Toward More Picturesque Speech.” Lord help me, I pictured it all, right down to the rinsing at the deli counter. My husband is looking at me like I’m completely retarded right now. He is right.

    Since this is already too long, and as a gesture of good faith because I’ve already been waaaaay too gross today, I shall refrain from any commentary on the subject of chocolate pudding.

    (LadyBug, remind me not to piss you off anytime soon, BadAss)

  • southern fried girl

    Oh God, that face. Look at that face. Boy, is she going to be trouble later on. If she gives that look to boys when she gets older, she will be unstoppable.

  • J in PA

    I would love to know… since when did shaming someone who exhibited shameful behavior become a BAD thing, exactly? Give me a fucking break, here. Most of the problems today (and reasons why the rest of the world hates our country — witness: reality TV) is the LACK of SHAME. I say SHAME THE HELL out of Matt Jackson. If you find the right one.

    Or perhaps we dedicate a website to him and when doing a search, female employees will happen upon it… there must be a way to remove someone like that from a position of power.

    Creative ideas?

  • http://james jp

    with all this talk of balls I’m off to make spagetti. pucker up peeps, schmooches!

  • http://prettycrabby.com Em

    Excellent expression! She’s so lovely.

  • http://maddenvision.typepad.com/maddenroundtheland/ cathi

    Lisa (#518) – I’m not going to take it personally. My hubby’s in the Air Force and is a considerate, decent, well-spoken, incredible man. Yes, I’ve met some Academy folks whose shit didn’t stink, and will assume that’s where you were going. My work has put me in closer contact with other services, and it’s there, too… egads.

    My fellow doocelings have most adequately expressed how shocked and appalled I was at reading this email. Dooce, you’re a strong woman, and I’m proud of you for standing up to this arrogant, sexist fuckwad. And to the ladies who had your back — cheers! I’m having a drink on you.

  • http://www.lineweaver.org/klog kalki

    Just read comments and must note that I have seen Ben Wa Balls in person. I have not, however, had Ben Wa Balls in my person.

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    Instigator Monkey, you’ve done it for me you sassy thing.

    I love the Monkey.

  • another Tara

    Not at all. Go Heather!

  • http://james jp

    I might have to order up for an early b-day present for the man-o-the-house. Thanks, though, because now I am going to check my sexual horiscope everyday because it was right on!

  • http://talkingtoad.blogspot.com/ TulsaOkie

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful baby girl!! Keep the pictures coming!

  • Kimberly

    Yes, the email was hateful and spiteful and totally wrong, but I can’t stand the public stonings that happen here anymore. Between the thinly veiled demand to deluge the emailer with hate mail (My heart goes out to innocent Matt Jacksons caught in the crossfire) and the spamming of the other girl’s website…calm down, people! I was taught that two wrongs never make a right.

    I’m a fan of this site, but I’ll be leaving the comments page alone from now on.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Aww LadyBug, thank you. I guess my raunch radar is working pretty good. Gotta have priorities.

    And I love you, the slaughterer of aphids and googler of ben wa balls.

    jp, don’t play coy with me after talkin liquid virgin.

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    WTF Katie, my ovaries only emit a low hum.

    No not really, I look at sperm and get knocked up. Thats why I try and keep my eyes closed. And my tubes tied.

  • Tara

    We all know that Heather can say whatever she wants, this is her blog, don’t read it if you don’t like it, blah blah blah, but it is MY opinion that she should not have ganged up on Matt like that.

    It somewhat reminds me of highschool; when one person insults you, and then you can’t just deal with it yourself rather you have to get your little posse together to attack that one person together. Clearly, this is a problem between Matt and Heather, and no one else. She’s choosing to make it public, I recognize that she had that choice, but don’t you find that a bit childish?

  • http://graemex.blogspot.com/ Graeme

    Almost makes me feel broody! I’ll need to read up some more of those poop articles and maybe it’ll pass…

  • http://ladymadaysia.blogdrive.com Relentless Christian Amber

    That’s precious.

  • http://sharp-eyed.us/ Ryan C.

    1. Post photos of adorable daughter,
    2. Withstand huge comment storms,
    3. …?
    4. Make millions of dollars


  • http://lawbrat.com lawbrat

    I just checked out the libida.com… That can be a very distracting site. It is now added to my favorites…SHHH, dont tell anyone

  • Instigator Monkey

    You know who else is sassy?

    That’s right.