Have mercy on me, baby

p.s. turn ons include meat curtains, and mustards.

Yeah – so I’ve only gotten so far as comment #560 because my computer crashed on me today and I’m trying to catch up.

Raz. You can amuse me, and I love you for that. But let me mix some metaphors because I’m a lightweight and the wine is kicking in (CHEERS to the ladies! This one’s for you!)… You have a tendency to come here and climb up on a soap box, and the whole comment police thing is really unbecoming. You’ve stated your point, and it was a good one. There should be no witch hunt for Matt Jacksons (or Matt Johnsons, my God – The The’s lead singer would not have done this!). But getting Strizz all worked up and going back and forth has completely taken the focus off of that great point.

Please, for the love of all things holy, stop.

If this has already been addressed since post #560, I apologize, and beg you to continue as you were and forgive me for speaking before being fully aware of the conversation.

Peace out. Word.

I want to smooch on her cheekies! Oh, so cute!!!

you: Crazy girl running twords me tripping over feet and balls, a vision of grace.
me: I barely had time to rinse and hand back the balls when you fled.
n/s,w/h/d/c,n/d,w.l.t.m.box69

Does that mean he’s been redooced?

(okay that was pretty bad.)

Is he the undooce?

Perhaps “fuckwad” is a better term.

I’m tempted to see if there is a “fuckwad.com”, but I’m worried that there is, and I’m not gonna wanna see it.

Kristine, that was pretty funny.

love the cute picture and the 2 Loretta Lynn titles!

You packin’ heat, LadyBug. My years of imaginary martial arts training is still no match for your Glock.
I may be a pig, but hell, I ain’t stoopid!

So Heather does know where he works for SURE?

Where did I miss that?

Bucky, you know as well as I that poopy and Monkey Just. Don’t. Mix.

and STAY the SHIT away from me with that bottle of Old Spice, you sadistic freak!

Yay! Stay dead monkey/minkey. Take Mouse with you while you’re at it.

Dooce.

You. Are. My. Hero.

Don’t let this one moron cancel out the rest of us – you know, the people WITH BRAINS.

If I knew you, I’d make you a very nice grande cappuccino with microfoam and maybe a touch of hazlenut syrup if you’re into that kind of thing. THAT would cancel the motherfucker out. (and I might have signed him up to receive special offers from j.c. penney. Don’t worry, just click here to remove yourself from the list!! Tee Hee!)

You’re diggin’ that Loretta Lynn CD also, huh? Have Mercy on me, Baby!

Dang Cold: I’d get those ovaries of yours checked out if I were you.

Kimberly, it’s not a website per se.

Plus, anyone who steals belly photos and ultrasound pics deserves it.

I can’t believe I am actually up this early in the morning and on the computer. I actually thought, “Hey, I’ll go check Dooce and maybe I will be an early commenter this morning.”

But nooo she had to go and post really freakin’ early.

And that Leta, she’s just so chock full of cuteness. I wish I could have a girl and have her be that cute.

OH MY uppercase GOD!
I get pulled into a meeting and WHAT HAPPENS HERE?
Sweet, mild LadyBug flips her spots and drills the poor, sexy monkey with a silver bullet? And not the kind from libida.com.
And LadyBug made Baby Jesus cry. My universe is turned upside down.
Angel monkey, we miss your poop flingin’, your ass showin’, your tic-pickin’ opposable thumbs, your monkey boners that peeked coquettishly out of those form-fitting diapers ‘Manda always picked out for you, your fascination with your own orifices, and the way you’d smile like the Mona Lisa, kinda mysterious, before you’d piss all over the dinner table.

A moment, please.

Okay, let’s talk about them Ben Wa balls, then!
CanAmy: You should maybe write to Reader’s Digest for “Toward More Picturesque Speech.” Lord help me, I pictured it all, right down to the rinsing at the deli counter. My husband is looking at me like I’m completely retarded right now. He is right.

Since this is already too long, and as a gesture of good faith because I’ve already been waaaaay too gross today, I shall refrain from any commentary on the subject of chocolate pudding.

(LadyBug, remind me not to piss you off anytime soon, BadAss)

I would love to know… since when did shaming someone who exhibited shameful behavior become a BAD thing, exactly? Give me a fucking break, here. Most of the problems today (and reasons why the rest of the world hates our country — witness: reality TV) is the LACK of SHAME. I say SHAME THE HELL out of Matt Jackson. If you find the right one.

Or perhaps we dedicate a website to him and when doing a search, female employees will happen upon it… there must be a way to remove someone like that from a position of power.

Creative ideas?

Excellent expression! She’s so lovely.

Just read comments and must note that I have seen Ben Wa Balls in person. I have not, however, had Ben Wa Balls in my person.

Not at all. Go Heather!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful baby girl!! Keep the pictures coming!

Aww LadyBug, thank you. I guess my raunch radar is working pretty good. Gotta have priorities.

And I love you, the slaughterer of aphids and googler of ben wa balls.

jp, don’t play coy with me after talkin liquid virgin.

We all know that Heather can say whatever she wants, this is her blog, don’t read it if you don’t like it, blah blah blah, but it is MY opinion that she should not have ganged up on Matt like that.

It somewhat reminds me of highschool; when one person insults you, and then you can’t just deal with it yourself rather you have to get your little posse together to attack that one person together. Clearly, this is a problem between Matt and Heather, and no one else. She’s choosing to make it public, I recognize that she had that choice, but don’t you find that a bit childish?

That’s precious.

I just checked out the libida.com… That can be a very distracting site. It is now added to my favorites…SHHH, dont tell anyone