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I still have scars, from the bike accident and the hair

Buddy’s Cleaners

When I take Jon’s shirts in to be cleaned I have to stand there and count out each one in front of the cashier. After what seems like an entire 72 episode season of “CSI: Tulsa,” I count out 24 garments: shirts and pants and a suit he wears to weddings. The teenager behind the [...]

When lipliner attacks

To the manufacturers of Triaminic: BITE ME

Just now I read an email that made me cry (in such a very good way), and earlier today I sent an email that made me cry while I wrote it. None of this has anything to do with the impending conclusion of “Six Feet Under” even though the last three episodes were eerily familiar [...]

Can you estimate the amount of hairspray used in this photo?

Since my father moved in across town this weekend and dropped off 10 boxes of junk from my childhood he had been storing in his attic, and since our normal camera is off somewhere having its intestines ripped open, I’m going to use this week’s photos to make everyone feel better about themselves if only [...]

Why I moved closer to my family (and yes, this reason is better than, “So I could shoot the Mormons at close range.”)

My mother called Friday night and informed me that she was going to take us out to dinner, Leta and me. I was just so fed up with her generosity that I told her no, not another free meal, she could just go and be nice to someone else because I am DONE contributing to [...]

Pillow talk

“How does mine sound? “It sounds like, knuuuooouuuuggghhh, peeeewww, knuuuooouuuuggghhh, peeeewww.” “It’s that fast?” “Yeah, sometimes I wonder how you can consume so much oxygen while expelling so little carbon monoxide. But you’re asleep so I don’t worry about you passing out.” “You mean carbon dioxide?” “Yeah, that one.” “Is it loud? You’d tell me [...]

Every man needs his monkey

Our Nikon D70 is getting fixed (sensor problem, grrr) and will be in the shop indefinitely. Thus, this vintage photo of Chuck at about seven weeks old. And that’s his stuffed monkey he used to carry around in his mouth on walks. Jon and I were listening to this comic the other night who made [...]

I prefer “blobber” thank you very much

This morning a freelance photographer came to the house to get a few shots of that one woman who lost her job because of her website, oh, about two centuries ago. His instructions were to take pictures of “the blogger Heather B. Strong,” and he asked me what the hell a blogger was. “You don’t [...]