This morning my doctor forcibly evicted the basal cell carcinoma from my arm. In the past week he has become an unruly tenant, has been drunkenly yelling at his cat in the middle of the night. His new home is a small, plastic container that is right now being delivered to a dark laboratory. There [...]
My brother’s wife gave birth to a dead prophet.
For my birthday I got a letter in the mail from our insurance provider: Dear Heather, Our records indicate that your upcoming birthday will move your monthly health plan premium to the next age category. As you may already be aware, your premium is subject to age-related changes every five years. Your new monthly health [...]
It is common practice in our house to let Chuck lick our food plates once we are finished with our meals. He likes to pretend that he doesn’t notice that I’m preparing dinner, will come up next to my legs and slowly press his body into my shins while I’m standing at the stove as [...]
tremble: How to Fly into an Ineffectual Rage“The only physical advantage I have is a naturally saddened and bearded face. That particular combination is often enough to keep people from messing with me because, at rest, my face telegraphs a pathological fatalism that could translate to reacting unpredictably if cornered.”
YouTube – Solla Solla Enna PerumaiI will never be the same after watching this. (via Patatomic)
The Knowledge For Thirst: Black Cherry Vanilla Coke “Pepsiâ€™d be coming out with one lame marketing campaign after another, and weâ€™d be all Excuse us, but weâ€™re drinking whatever Cosbyâ€™s drinking, next order of business please.”