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Irreconcilable difference of opinion

Last night I had a dream — wait, I know. I know that this is no way to start a story because no one likes to read about other people’s dreams. I’d rather listen to someone describe in great detail the consistency of their underarm hair. But this was a dream about a supermodel, so [...]

Chloroplastic

Wise men

A man on the television is lying in bed with his wife recounting the day he had at work. “I told my coworker not to worry,” he says, “because with age comes experience. And with experience comes wisdom.” “What comes with wisdom?” his wife asks him. And both Jon and I let out an exaggerated [...]

Descent

Ask nicely

In an effort to offset some of the eventual bad habits she might learn from us, like scratching her parts in public or asking a member of the wait staff for some ketchup to put on her steak, we’re trying to get Leta to ask for things nicely. It’s the least we could offer humanity. [...]

Cradle and all

Yesterday Leta woke up at 6:45 just to let us know that she was in a bad mood and had no one to share it with. We had been out late the night before idiotically participating in activities that would require a lot more than a night’s sleep to recover from and so were ill-prepared [...]

With the rise and fall of sparrow’s breast

Sneaking off to flush beach towels

The man who previously owned our house remodeled the tiny basement several years ago and installed a bathroom. The tile job in in the shower is crooked and annoyingly Tex Mex in color and pattern — when we moved in every window in the house was decorated with a homemade plaid valance that would match [...]

Sentinel

Newsletter: Month Twenty-seven

Dear Leta, Yesterday you turned twenty-seven months old. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing month this has been, by far one of my favorites. It’s been so good that I haven’t wanted it to end much like those days when you are in such a great mood we have a hard [...]