On living in Middle America

This afternoon I was watching the local news (a hobby on par with clubbing myself in the head with a meat hook) and the weather man was trying to explain the Spring Equinox when he brought up how many hours Utah is behind Greenwich Mean Time. And guess what? He pronounced it GREEN – WITCH.

GREEN.

WITCH.

I rewound it and watched it over eight times. He said it as clearly as if it were two words: Green. Witch.

A grown man.

No different than that one time that woman was dancing around on that stage and that guy ripped off her shirt and showed America her boobies. NO DIFFERENT.