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Goth mix

Not too happy that I’m interrupting his “meditation.” ON MASCARA.

On the town

Last night my mom kept the kids while Jon and I grabbed dinner and a movie for my birthday, and I stayed up later than I have in months, meaning waaaaaay past seven. Luckily we got to sleep in until eight, and then we grabbed a leisurely breakfast. Really, one of the most enjoyable times [...]

That old hag

Dear Heather, Today you turn four hundred and twenty months old. Yes, this means you’re old enough to have gone insane and are now writing letters to yourself. If the twenty-two-year-old Heather could see you now, she’d fall over from embarrassment. And in that case, please kick that twenty-two-year-old squarely in the stomach. One, she’ll [...]

Afternoon snack

Meaning about an hour after lunch I sat down and swallowed her whole.

“Window treatments”

Would it be a proper Armstrong house if at one point or another I didn’t put tin foil in the windows? This is Marlo’s room, and we’ve got black-out shades coming, but they won’t be here for another week. This is called ingenuity, y’all. Keeps her asleep until at least 5:30 AM. It also prevents [...]

Mom v. Me

This is the next to last guest post from Sarah, something I can very much relate to as it took me a long time to forgive my mom for pulling my hair really hard when she used to French braid it. I always thought she was doing it to be mean, and now that I [...]

And then shake your head and call us nerds

I was reading one of my favorite websites,, the other day when I saw that he had posted this video of an iPhone app called Talking Carl dueling it out with another Talking Carl. Unbeknownst to me, Jon was over at his desk watching the same thing, and there we were laughing to the [...]

Thirteen months

I’m wiping down the countertops in the kitchen after breakfast when Leta runs in from the powder room and frantically spits out, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” Also, I think our kid is going to make a living doing impersonations.

Something in the yard

But I have no idea what it is. Maybe you do? Have they now engineered plants that exist in Dr. Seuss books?

Instant understanding

In addition to what seems like a hundred million unforeseen costs of moving into this house, we had to buy a new dishwasher this week. The original one was very picky about which dishes it wanted to clean, and sometimes it wouldn’t choose any. Like that one time we had 35 family members over for [...]