They met in the pre-existence and have been reunited.
The tallest person in the family and the person who will soon own that title.
Where all those capital letters come from.
How to cook: use one hand to call for takeout, the other to scratch your butt.
My family saves me again. They give Mormons a pretty damn good name.
I am the parental equivalent of the black jelly bean.
A thank you note to my incredible family.
And He shall rain down apricots upon the land. And lo, it shall be a total fucking disaster. That tree! That damn tree! Sorry, I know. Two curse words in a post already, but let me tell you. It’s probably just going to get worse from here. It may get so bad that the whole [...]
Friday afternoon the whole family hopped on four-wheelers and ATVs for a ride up a mountain in Montana. Doesn’t she look so happy? So carefree? She loved the whole experience, but three hours later she was spitting at me and trying to rip her own face off. I’m going to choose to remember this part [...]
Last night I slept for eight straight hours and when I woke up I immediately ran outside and bench pressed my car while simultaneously arm wrestling a bear. I won. I can see straight! The world isn’t going to end! I mean, at least not today. It will at some point just as the Book [...]