Feeling Guilty
For hoping that this baby doesn’t decide to make her entrance into the world during the season premiere of “Survivor.” She needs to get her priorities straight early.
Feeling Guilty
For feeding my dog Pop Rocks.
Feeling Guilty
For mistaking a gigantic grape jelly stain on my belly for a gigantic stretch mark, TWICE in one afternoon.
Feeling Guilty
For telling my five year old nephew that Santa Claus is a fundamentalist Islamic terrorist.
Feeling Guilty
For willingly participating in Chocogasm 2003: chocolate brownie, chocolate pudding, peanut M&M’s. All in one bowl. Eaten in less than three minutes, after 11pm.
Feeling Guilty
For buying a vacuum sealed package of underwear at Costco.
Feeling Guilty
For successfully convincing several of the more gullible members of my family that we plan on naming our baby girl Larry.
Feeling Guilty
For the pan of brownies, the plate of chocolate chip cookies, and the pound of banana pudding I thought it necessary to cook in one night.
Feeling Guilty
For thinking impure thoughts when I first saw the packaging for these portable puddings.
Feeling Guilty
For laughing uncontrollably when the 80 lb dog gets stuck underneath the bed, for the sixth time in two hours.
