Totes amazeballs

Allow Sarah to be a cranky person on the internet and share her personal least favorite words and phrases.

Saying Yes

“We are unwinding from stressful weeks by hooting when someone with a spray tan and a squared-off French manicure says she needs one dress for the ceremony and another for the reception.”

Rich People Gotta Upholster Too

“There are separate books for tableware, lighting, bath, linens, and small spaces, which are great if you’re decorating your pied-à-terre in Buenos Aires or Antwerp, and who among us isn’t.”

On Bracelynn, On Brogen

If only she had written this before Marlo was born. So many of these fit her personality. In particular: Bonk.

My Life in Movies

“First non-animated movie I saw in a theater without having to be removed from the theater for screaming because my parents somehow thought Raiders of the Lost Ark was about Noah…”

Scent sucker

“Perfumes, soaps, scented body washes, room sprays, candles, laundry detergents: they are my kryptonite. I know everyone likes to smell good, but I expect a little more than just good.”

Me At 13

“My zeal for people poking fun of their former teenage selves knows no bounds.”

Doll Parts

“I played with dolls as a child for the same reason I played the Sims as an adult: sex, death, and elaborate floor plans.”

Pros and Cons

She forgot one con: they never learn how to fix Mama a hot dog.

None of them has ever said LOL

This is Sarah’s last guest post, and I can’t thank her enough for helping me get through the last four weeks of insane change over here. Since Jon’s birthday is Sunday, and mine was earlier this week, we’re going to go get massages! IN THE SAME ROOM! I know that probably grosses some people out, [...]