Last night I had a dream that I gave birth to a 15lb baby boy through my belly button. He came out feet first wearing matching little blue sneakers and a plaid fishing hat, and the whole labor was entirely painless. I just pulled him out by the sneakers, and plop, there he was.

I know that if I actually gave birth to a baby who was wearing clothes when he came out of the womb that I’d be quarantined and that they’d take him away and do all sorts of tests, but when I woke up from that dream I was honestly a little disappointed that it wasn’t true. I mean, having a baby who not only comes equipped with his own clothes but is evolved enough to know how to match them, that is the type of baby I can get behind.

Have you ever had weird pregnancy dreams?