An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • Ainslee

    Hi Heather:

    Speaking of “poop in my ass”, you’re also the # 1 result if you do a search of “Mormon Cusser”

  • The BEST pug picture. I love pugs. My ex-husband had (well, still has) a pug. I miss that dog. They are the best at cheering you up. They’ll do anything for a laugh. Ah. Thanks for the pic.

  • Autumn

    Cute puppy, HILARIOUS story! I have told all my friends to come check out your blog.

    Have a marvy weekend!

  • I love pugs. When I have suceeded in getting my degree and getting a job, I will have one of my very own!

  • That dog is hilariously ugly. Actually, the story about “C” brought up memories for me. I’ve only been that constipated 2 times in my life, and both times I silently swore to myself that I would eat prunes every day for the rest of my life to avoid ever having that happen again. The prune thing didn’t hold, unfortunately for my colon. But every time it gets to be a few days gone by… out come the prunes, baby!
    Isn’t it odd that this is the only place on the net (possibly in the real world too) where I feel (sort of) comfortable talking about bowel movements? Of course, posting this means I’ll never be able to run for president. The republicans would undoubtedly pull this up and show it as proof that I am not fit to be in government office– I talked about shit! ON THE INTERNET!
    To summarize: Cute ugly dog. I shit.

  • Isabelle looks like she just smelled something really bad.

  • Dude? I do not GET pugs.

    They snort.

  • liz

    Pugs make the world go around.

    I’ve had two pet pugs for about 16 years. They are the best dogs ever (of course, I haven’t personally met Chuck, so…). Also, my mother’s name is Isabelle. There’s really no point to this comment, I just thought it was weird. And beautiful. Thanks for the picture!

  • that dog needs braces!!

    the poop story make an appearence on my own blog. i KNOW about constipation… i KNOW. i had an enema at age TEN. pooping for me was that bad. i’ve had horrible times crapping ever since…

    also, there should be a blog just for the comments your readers leave. some of you guys are really funny 😉

  • midwifegoddessannie

    This Website definitely needs more POOP

  • I have a pug and the advice for windex and paper towels is true! BUt I wouldn’t trade him for any other dog in the WORLD! Only a face a mother could love!

  • Karen

    I think Isabelle is adorable. Also, since I have become pregnant, I have suffered from constipation, even worse than before. An unfortunate side-effect of constipation that I have is that I plug other people’s toilets. And overflow them sometimes. I overflowed my friend’s toilet twice while I was staying with her. And I unknowingly clogged my husband’s grandmother’s toilet–she announced to the family that it took her 21 flushes to get it down after I left. I tell my husband that it is like trying to flush a baseball down a toilet-it just doesn’t work. I don’t know if its the shape of my rectum or what, but I’ve had this problem for a while now. As a result it is hard for me to poop at in other people’s bathrooms, because I always fear clogging it.

  • There’s just something so cute about dogs that look like they’ve run straight on into a brick wall at mach 5.

  • Pugs rock. They are so endearing, and the snorting is hilarious. Dogs that are too pretty make me nervous.

  • I’m doing some freelance cartooning work, and one of the characters i created is a pug. I love it. Cartoon pugs are so much fun to draw. Your pic made my day. And I LOVE your poop talk. I can relate. I mean it. IBS since I was 21. I’m 41 now. 20 years of obsessing with poop.

  • Kind is not the word I would use to describe how that dog looks. She looks … well … angry.

  • Colon-challenged

    Pugs do that weird licking thing, right? As in, they’ll lick the sweater on your back, just for fun? They’re cute, but not so much with the licking.

    I feel that I have found a community of sorts, here, in constipation. I thought that I fought these battles alone, and that the ads on TV for stuff that helps with it were just for total wimps who don’t poop maybe every day or so – not my major brand of C.
    It just warms me to the core to know we’re in this battle together. I salute you, comrades.

  • Please tell me the other pug was not named Ferdinand. (Though, given that portaits of Renaissance Spanish nobility often had their faces at least partially turned from the viewer (darned that in-breeding), it would probably be appropriate.)

  • Evelyn

    Isabelle’s face looks like something out of a nightmare. I, too, do not GET pugs. And I am a dog person!

    One of the things I love about dogs is the way their feet smell. I mean the soles of their feet. You have to squeeze their feet a little to expose their cushioned foot-bottom pads fully, then put your nose there and smell deeply. It’s such a wonderful fragrance. Something like divine baby-powder. Ever try it?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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