If you say anything mean about my mom I will cut you.
the smell of my desperation has become a stench
Heather B. Armstrong
Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.
Angie
2004/09/30 at 5:28 amI need lipstick to live – long live Avon
Kris
2004/09/30 at 5:31 amHow could we be mean? Because we love you so much, how could we not love Mom?
I find I am waking up with eagerness to check the Photos Everyday section. Thanks for posting them. I am curious, so I wonder whether you will someday post about your family’s willingness to appear on such a popular blog. I also wonder whether anyone in your family (you go, George) has actually been recognized in public by a blogger or a paparazzo.
cursingmama
2004/09/30 at 5:31 amI’ve always wondered what the Avon World Sales Leader looked like. Hey! I’m First! WOO HOO
Illuminn
2004/09/30 at 5:32 amEven though they could be to blame for all our emotional insecurities and obsessive-compulsive behaviors, Moms are still the most fantabulously wonderful creatures in the world.
cursingmama
2004/09/30 at 5:33 amDarn – I didn’t type fast enough to be first. Maybe next time.
I did forget to say (since I was typing so fast) that I loved the photo, and your grandma’s silver hair.
patricia
2004/09/30 at 5:39 amExactly the image in my head. We love Dooce’s mom!
joe
2004/09/30 at 5:40 amsorry, h.b., i couldn’t resist–the dinner we had with your mom at chi chi’s was the best dinner at chi chi’s ever. glad you’re good, hi to jon and leta, and enjoy park city.
beerzie yoink
2004/09/30 at 5:42 amUm. Nice earrings?
jansell
2004/09/30 at 5:42 amOh, so we’re welcome to rip on granny? Just kidding. They’re cute. The kids in the front are cute, too.
beachgal
2004/09/30 at 5:45 amI don’t think anyone would say anything mean about your mom. I mean, come on, she’s mainly responsible for our favorite blogger, YOU! Yay mom and Yay Granny!
JuJuBee
2004/09/30 at 5:55 amMom is a hottie and so sweet to take Leta for the weekend. Be careful…you might end up with a little Mormon on your hands. If she comes home wearing thong panties, be very afraid.
julie
2004/09/30 at 5:58 amChi-Chi’s is closed forever..good bye fajitas.. goodbye corncake.. goodbye hot and spicy salsa
:~(
Daisy
2004/09/30 at 5:58 amVery elegant looking!
dave p
2004/09/30 at 6:41 amSo that’s what you’ll look like in 30 years…
red
2004/09/30 at 6:42 amagreeing with everyone else — how could we not love your mom?! she looks lovely, and i am betting she’s a wonderful lady. yay Dooce’s mom!
kim
2004/09/30 at 7:10 amher hair looks just prrrrfect. ;o)
it’s priceless to see mom and grandma happy and healthy together at a family-party – i’m telling you – enjoy that!!
Karen
2004/09/30 at 7:10 amGo mom!
And go Leta. Ya gotta love that kid.
Gordon
2004/09/30 at 7:13 amdoes she sell to rural virginia? My wife uses the skin so soft(Tm) with vinegar as a fly repellent. avon makes the best all in one sun screen/fly repellent/skin care stuff in the world.
Tracy
2004/09/30 at 7:13 amIf I’m not mistaken, I think there’s also a pic of the A.W.S.L. in the September 2 entry (the one where Leta’s trying to rip her mom’s lower lip off).
sab
2004/09/30 at 7:27 amActually your mom seems like a pretty cool lady!
Tracey
2004/09/30 at 7:30 amI love the pictures you take every day. This is always my first check of the day, to see the photo of the day and hear about what’s up with you all. Take care!
amy
2004/09/30 at 7:30 amHow could anyone say anything mean about a woman who TAKES your child for extended periods of time?! The woman is a saint dammit..
Christine
2004/09/30 at 7:36 amThis is probably just the art professor in me, but — wow, that is a beautifully composed image. It reminds me of something Edgar Degas would paint. Very nice.
And DooceMom looks nice, too. 🙂
trudie
2004/09/30 at 7:49 amoh, i love it! now that’s the kind of hair my mom needs. poor woman has no hair–i’ll be virtually bald when i’m 35. looks like dooce won’t have that problem, though. does avon sell hair products? i’d better get started now.
no more chi chi’s? my husband’s going to freak. anytime his parents ask us where we want to go, he always says chi-chis. and his parents always think he’s being serious. what a terrible end to a great family joke…
Daisy
2004/09/30 at 7:54 amI swear to God Avon Skin-so-Soft is a cure all for EVERYTHING! They should use it on Cancer and AIDS patients.
Laura
2004/09/30 at 7:56 amEvery time you write about her, she seems more a model of efficiency and kindness. It’s like what beachgal said. What’s not to love?
moose
2004/09/30 at 8:06 amI love the composition of this photo. Oooh.
Danna
2004/09/30 at 8:12 amNice photo. Reminds me of Christmas.
eileen dover
2004/09/30 at 8:17 amI second the Degas comparison – very astute. Dooce, your compositional skilz are the shiznit.
G~
2004/09/30 at 8:18 amLOL! Well, I can see why she’s the World Sales Leader!! She looks every bit the part of a beauty products sales woman…all tailored and primped.
A very nice looking woman, that Avon mom of yours, Heather. 😉 Looks like Leta has nothing to worry about since her parents AND her Grammy are so cute, huh?
*grin*
Mir
2004/09/30 at 8:22 amLovely photo. And your mom is so much younger than I pictured! (Oh, that’s not her, on the right?)
Lesley
2004/09/30 at 8:40 amI have a friend whose husband became, out of the blue, a born again, and he and his whole congregation prayed for my friend’s soul every Sunday and at prayer meetings (because she wasn’t into the whole born again Christian schtick. Of course, they’re divorced now.
Michael
2004/09/30 at 9:06 amIf that’s your mom in the brown, I’m just wondering (by her hair) if she was the model for Mom on Futurama?
Michael
2004/09/30 at 9:07 amShe seems to be a very elegant lady, indeed. I just wish I could see her smile. I do enjoy your photo of the day series very much. I wish I could implement something similir for my blogger site, but alas, their software is not as versatile as Movable Type. What I wouldn’t give to have categories!
Michael
2004/09/30 at 9:11 amThat should’ve been “similar” in my previous post. Man, do I hate making typos! :O/
Christi Lee
2004/09/30 at 9:13 amVery pretty picture. Some of the others mentioned Degas. The young girl looks like the little ballerina from on of his paintings and the back round looks like the garden tea painting.
Very neat.
I was going to make fun of your mom, but then I was afraid you’d uh, cut me with-hot-forks-of-displeasure, No need to get all hot-forks-of-displeasure on me.
I was just kidding about making fun of your mom. She seems like a very good grandma. Very classy.
Another Laura
2004/09/30 at 9:35 amYour mom looks very elegant. I’d buy a lipstick from her. And my kid only resembles me when his feet stink – otherwise, we’re not sure I really contributed any DNA to him.
SuMMer
2004/09/30 at 9:39 amWhat a hottie mom and granny there! You’ve got nothing to worry about in your old age.
I just wanted to point out that you get some very amusing ads sometimes. Right now, thee’s one for the ‘Freedom Tower Silver Coin’, and one for a World Trade Center artifacts and memorabilia auction. Hmmm, interesting…
tiffany
2004/09/30 at 10:06 amShe has Texas hair!
I’m not being mean I swear.
Gretchen C.
2004/09/30 at 10:08 amThat’s one classy lady.
You have to love those baby farts. Both of my boys produce extremely terrifying ones; Matt, at two weeks old, could produce farts that sounded like a 45-year-old man after a heavy night of burritos and beer. He’d do it in public, and people would stare accusingly at ME.
Carny Asada
2004/09/30 at 10:10 amHere’s the thing: We went to Best Buy yesterday; we held the Canon Digital Rebel and the Nikon D70 in our hands; we took pictures of teen-agers walking through the aisles and startled them with our rapid-burst flashes.
And… (gnashing of teeth)… we fell in love with the Nikon D70. HOW HOW HOW could you introduce us to a camera that will suck an extra $300 out of our pockets? That is not the act of a loving blogmistress.
By the way: Cute mom. But you knew that.
wixlet
2004/09/30 at 10:20 amyour mom’s hair (and your grandma’s, too) makes me miss my grandma. she would go to the beauty shop every week and have her hair washed, curled, and set, and sleep in a beautiful satin night cap every night so that her hair would keep its shape. i never knew my grandma to have hair that didn’t act as a single unit–it would have withstood hurricane-force winds, i promise you. i guess that’s the quintessential ‘texas hair’, but i always just think of it as hair like my grandma’s.
Michelle
2004/09/30 at 10:51 amYour mom is the Avon World Sales Leader? Holy Crud that is amazing!
Whatever your family thinks about your blog I have a feeling that they are immensley proud of you and love you Jon and Leta beyond words.
George
2004/09/30 at 10:54 amMy mom has Texas hair, but she actually lives in Texas. Oh yea, about the matchmaking, it would be difficult for me to move from Provo, since I am in school and all. So lets stick to people in Utah and Texas for now, since I do visit my parents every now and again.
Amanda B.
2004/09/30 at 10:55 amHoly moly dudes, I just ran into Britany Spears and her new husband in Picadilly. Of course I HAD to say something to her, so I said, “Congratulations on your wedding!” She said “ok…thankyou” (undertone: go away weird person, i’m trying to pick out my beverage). Awesome.
I don’t own any Britany albums, but I think she’s gotten a really hard rap. So for the record, she was not, a)broken out b)pregnant or c)fat in any way shape or form. She’s tiny tiny and super pumped. Gorgeous!
The husband…well…
I had to tell you guys because it was a very exciting event in the middle of a crappy workday.
And now I must dance!
*Oops I did it again…I freaked Britany Spears out…in the middle of lunch…ooh bebe bebe…*
the husband
2004/09/30 at 11:06 amPeople. Don’t mess with the southern hair. Trust me.
Carrie
2004/09/30 at 11:11 amThe hair is….is….oh, I’m speechless. It’s just amazing, seriously. and the picture is beautiful.
LT
2004/09/30 at 11:23 amShe’s no George 😉
HazelEyedPisces
2004/09/30 at 11:34 amdooce, ya gotta high five leta for me. farting women unite! any family of dooce’s will be loved, therefore none of us will make fun of mom.
Amy
2004/09/30 at 11:51 amI love the way the little girl’s shirt is so clear, you can see every detail of the lacey stuff.
Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll soon be able to buy back your soul on eBay.