the smell of my desperation has become a stench


I’m on the phone with my very Southern sister, and toward the end of the conversation she says, “Can you hold on a minute?” And then she tries to muffle the phone, but I hear her shout to the twins in the most Southern accent imaginable, “GET OFF MY BED WITH THE CHEETO HANDS!” And then she gets back on the phone and says without skipping a beat, “So I was saying…”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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