An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • May the newly renewed, happily champagned couple please smile for the camera. It is great to see that you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend…you deserved it so much!

  • anna

    Wooooo! Kissin’! Purty trees! A smokin’ husband!

    Nothing more than you deserve, my dear.

  • Looks like the end sequence of a very romantic movie, although I’m sure it was actually the start of some very enjoyable procedures!

  • Liz

    Terribly sweet.

  • Aw, shucks. I finally got caught up on your story through the archives and I’m glad things are getting better. Looks like a well-deserved respite for you two.

    I’ll have to check out the Nikon D70. Or you guys must have long arms, because there’s none of that blurry, fish-eye look about this self-portrait.

  • patricia

    Why is it that otherwise sensible people who know its impolite to offer unsolicited advice irl think its ok when its flooding your inbox?

  • Lovely picturesque scenery, dooce! wink wink
    You both deserved some rest. I am glad you had fun 🙂

  • But… did you know about bitter apple spray??? Hee. You got a lot of unsolicited advice in your comments too, I generally read through all of them when I see the daily picture (unless there’s, like, 30 bazillion of them). I can only imagine the inbox onslought (did I spell that right?).
    Anyway, awwww. You can tell john has longer arms than you because the picture is pulled slightly towards him. Or, it’s just from when he pushed the button. Either way, awwwww.

  • It looks like you two are on the roof!!!

  • So cute. And the scenery is unbelievable.

  • Karen

    You and John look so HAPPY!!!

  • What a fucking fabulous picture of two people who are fucking brilliant and beautiful, inside and out.

    I was going to write yesterday and say my dog does the exact. same. thing. only she strews the tissues Everywhere. fuck all those motherfuckers with their advice.

    and no, I don’t live in a truckstop with all of that swearing (although you’d never know)

  • I’m guilty of sending an email but it was just a word of warning about Leta getting big enough to rampage and destroy through the house with Chuck, just like I used to do with my childhood puppy. Good times.

  • what a sweet photo!
    the funny thing is that just as I was clicking on this photo, love shack came on in the mashup I’m listening to.

  • Dooce, you gotta stop putting pictures of your husband on this thing for a little while. It’s for your own protection–haven’t you noticed all of the sex-starved women that are not-so-secretly lusting after him?

  • Michael

    Champagne is good. Now cut out all the folderol, go right on home, and wipe that baby’s nose! You’ll get the hang of it with enough practice.

  • LT

    OK, what are you doing to me, here? You’re making me miss Utah.

  • What a sweet and romantic picture. You’re totally adorable.

  • dammit. i’m jealous. my self-portraits never include any tongue action.

  • kim

    i want my man, too. i haven’t had the chance to kiss him since january.. i want kisses!! and as far as i’m concerned utah would be just fine..

  • Muchas schmoochas. You guys look very much in love.

  • Melissa

    Funny – we spell it Schmoopie at our house.

  • Lisa

    Funny, I had a dream last night that I would email some tips from my dog trainer, but then I woke up thinking, Dooce won’t want any unsolicited advice. Amazing how all things doggly creep into my subconscious/unconscious.

    On the subject at hand, this is a beautiful picture of a beautiful couple (with an awesome dog and baby girl)!

  • Get a room!


  • Glad to see that someone else also takes self portraits of themselves while smooching. Hubby and I are soooo guilty of this. What can I say? I like pictures where I’m being kissed by a hottie. Sheesh!

  • Michelle


    My 18-month-old daughter screams bloody murder every time I dress her. This morning I told her to “get used to it” because she would be enduring this particular torture for the rest of my life.

    I hope I don’t get unsolicited advice about this cruel treatment of my child.

  • That is the kind of picture everyone hopes to find one day of their parents or grandparents. 😉

  • Michelle

    I meant the rest of *her* life. Freudian slip?

  • hayley

    sometimes jon looks like david duchovney (sp?). a furrier version, though.

  • Julie

    What? Drinking and kissing in broad daylight? What awful parents you are! This can only lead to . . . dancing.

  • red

    so cute. i want to clone him.

  • midwifegoddessannie

    Fish you are right.. I never realised how sex starved I am until I kept seeing pictures of Jon….
    Jon are you coming to Australia any time soon?
    We NEED more computer geeks with proven bloodlines over here!!

  • Lovely.

  • Cora’s mommy

    That picture just screams, “love”.
    Very nice.

  • Oh! No! My innocent eyes! Now I’m forever scared by this authentic display of emotion…

    It’s nice to find a site rated PIL (for “people in love” 😉

  • Mike

    Great photo and Seinfeld reference!

  • Isn’t it nice to find time for a real kiss, albeit even if you’re taking a picture of it for the Internet, where you don’t have to worry about a crying baby interrupting it? or having it delayed because you’ve got to do x, y, or z either with the baby or around the house because the baby was sleeping?

    But when you do get that good kiss in, you can live off that energy and the memory of that kiss for hours, like you just drank a gallon of espresso.

  • “No you’re shmoopy!”

    “No YOU’RE shmoopy!”

    I miss Seinfeld….


  • sab

    Love is in the air, everywhere I look around…..

  • its hard to have both people looking good in a kissing photo without accidental tongue or cross eyes. you have triumphed!

  • Sara

    Didn’t mean to overstep boundries or rub folks the wrong way with my UNSOLICITED “advice” about Chuck. I work with dogs so I shot off without thinking…. apologies abound! (I was absent the day they covered blogging ettiquette.) Open mouth, insert foot, swallow knee….. translated as “I’ll shut up now”

  • The love exudes from that photo. Keep on keepin on! You guys are awesome.

  • That’s a great picture. I have a picture like that with my hubby and me kissing by the ocean, except I look like a total dork. You look good.

  • Ohhhhh! Lovin’! Yeah! That is such a sweet picture! 🙂

  • I have a similar picture of my boyfriend and I we took ontop of the eiffel tower 🙂 i love photos like that

  • Whenever my gf and I take kissy-face pictures, we always manage to cut off the top of my head. I’m tall for a girl(5’10”), and she’s 5’3″. I guess it would make more sense for the taller person to hold the camera…
    ANYWAY…you guys warm the heart on such a cold day. And screw all of those people with their unsolicited advice. You seem like you’ve raised a mighty fine dog AND a mighty fine baby so far.

  • That’s a very neat idea to both hold the camera to take the picture. I’ll have to try that with my wife, or maybe I’ll use a tripod. Now that’s an idea! Let’s see, now where can I find a neat background with cool trees and stuff. Hmmmm. ;O)

  • di

    awesome shot! my husband and i take photos like this all the time and this just makes me want to travel somewhere and take another!

  • I think part of the reason that they have such great success with the self-photo is that they’re fantastically tall people and thus have long arms with which to distance the camera. Not at all like my own little sticks that produce lovely self-portraits of my nose.

  • I did that and then a baby popped out.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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