the smell of my desperation has become a stench


  • Heather 2

    2004/10/29 at 5:01 am


  • Melynda

    2004/10/29 at 5:02 am

    She’s so damn cute!! 🙂

  • Jessie Street

    2004/10/29 at 5:04 am

    Isn’t she lovely?

  • Moxie

    2004/10/29 at 5:04 am

    —->Insert Poptart here<-----

  • Megan

    2004/10/29 at 5:05 am

    Really, really cute!

  • Chloe

    2004/10/29 at 5:05 am

    I still can’t decide: are her eyes green? Or brown? Or neither? Or both?

  • dooce

    2004/10/29 at 5:07 am

    her eyes are hazel, just like her father’s, of course. I CANNOT BELIEVE I GAVE BIRTH TO A DARK-HAIRED, HAZEL-EYED BABY. every other kid in my family is WHITE BLONDE and BLUE-EYED. MUTANT!

  • christy

    2004/10/29 at 5:08 am

    the toys!!! the toys!!!!

    we had to to put a moratorium on toys entering our house before we were buried under a pile of playskool. the kids would much rather play with ladles and tupperware anyhow. oh – and knives of course.

  • Karrey

    2004/10/29 at 5:12 am

    It’s the end of an Aryan era!

  • Angie

    2004/10/29 at 5:12 am

    I’m sure the boxes those toys came in were much more fun to play with… and eat!

  • Drama Queen

    2004/10/29 at 5:14 am

    LOL. It’s the North American flapping Leta.

  • Kimberley H.

    2004/10/29 at 5:15 am

    I thought that it was the father gene’s that decided all that? (hair color, eye color, etc.) No?

  • Dee

    2004/10/29 at 5:16 am

    OMG – Precious! I need to get myself a good camera……my pix totally stink

  • Liz

    2004/10/29 at 5:16 am

    She IS going to take flight!

  • hayley

    2004/10/29 at 5:17 am

    whichever gene is dominant decides those features. dark hair and eyes are dominant to light ones.

  • Kellie

    2004/10/29 at 5:18 am

    I think the blue eyed gene is recessive. Something like if one parent has blue eyes, and the other has brown, there is a 1 in 4 chance the baby will have blue eyes. Of course, I learned this in 10th grade biology which I’m still not sure I legitimately passed, so who knows. My regards to Mr. Kniola, God knows he tried.

  • Em

    2004/10/29 at 5:20 am

    Okay, I thought blue eyes were dominant.

    I am all confused now!

    Anyway, I send Leta a SQUAWK back!

  • beachgal

    2004/10/29 at 5:24 am

    I think blue eyes are recessive…both hubby and I have blue eyes, hence my son has blue eyes….I think the 1 in 4 is right if one parent has blue and the other brown.

    Leta is so awesome. I love the thumbnail for this pic….such LIPS!

  • The Mighty Jimbo

    2004/10/29 at 5:26 am

    “leta! mommy pooped!”

  • daveeee

    2004/10/29 at 5:26 am

    Could the kiddo _be_ any cuter? hehe

  • Paul

    2004/10/29 at 5:27 am

    And with the current household policy of appeasement, the Overlords are sure to make the neighbors’ house the next stop on their campaign of sack and pillage.

  • Poppy

    2004/10/29 at 5:27 am

    So glad to see that my 8.5-month-old isn’t the only kid trying to turn into a flappy, squawking bird-child. Absolutely darling!

  • Fran

    2004/10/29 at 5:29 am

    Right backatcha, Leta!

  • Lorie

    2004/10/29 at 5:30 am

    So cute! You know, plastic is good…hehe

  • Lorie

    2004/10/29 at 5:31 am

    Did I forget to add that after 4 kids, I’m still finding plastic toys in strange places? A nuclear war wouldn’t melt that stuff, either.

  • Dale Cruse

    2004/10/29 at 5:33 am


  • red

    2004/10/29 at 5:35 am

    omg, she is so edible!

  • Sarah

    2004/10/29 at 5:36 am

    You know, I have a son about her age. . .

    Anyway, my husband has brown, brown eyes and I have blue and our baby has, believe it or not BLUE eyes. I was certainly not expecting that.

    And the Plastic Overlords are creeping in around the edges of my house, too. So much for those New Parent Ideals. . . “And my son will only play with wooden toys.” I’m scoffing at myself already.

  • heather

    2004/10/29 at 5:37 am

    It’s easier to look at grandparents. My dad has blue eyes, my mom green. (mine are blue green). My husband has brown eyes (his moms are brown, his dad’s blue).

    Our son has my blue green eyes exactly. We have a one and four chance of having a dark eyed baby. Dark eyes are dominant, but in our case, out numbered.

    You also have to take into consideration that things like hair, eye and skin color tend to ‘blend’ so there is no cut and dry blue or brown or green (like my eyes, which are blended).

    But the important thing here is THAT IS ONE CUTE BABY!

  • Lori

    2004/10/29 at 5:38 am

    Maybe she should be a duckling for halloween?

  • LT

    2004/10/29 at 5:39 am

    Actually, it depends on both parents and what *their* parents have, too, to get the actual ratio. If your mom has brown eyes and both her parents have brown eyes, you’re passed on a BB from her (B being brown and always dominant.) If your dad has brown eyes and one of his parents had brown eyes, he’d be passing along a Bb to you. Then you’d have BB and Bb, and the combos you can get from that are no blue, but hazel or combination or brown (because there’s no bb [blue] possible). However, if your dad has blue eyes from both his parents having blue eyes, you’re changed to BB (mom) and bb (dad) and you get 1:4 blue. If your mom’s parents had one blue, (and this is actually my exact situation), it’s Bb (mom) and bb (dad) and now you have half a shot of having a blue eyed child. Me? I have hazel green-brown, exact same color as my mom’s.

    My fiance and I somehow share the exact same color, too, though since both of us have a blue eyed parent, we have a 1:4 shot of having a blue eyed child, but most likely we will have a child with the same weird color we share.


  • erin

    2004/10/29 at 5:47 am

    she is so beautiful! I just can’t stand it!

    Thanks for getting my day off to a great start.

  • kp

    2004/10/29 at 5:48 am


    sooooooooo cute. eesk

  • TracyDee

    2004/10/29 at 6:01 am

    What a sweet mouth… kinda like the Rolling Stones logo but way cuter…

  • Heatheranne

    2004/10/29 at 6:01 am

    I thought I saw on the news last night that they spotted a flying Leta over Ohio.

  • Kim

    2004/10/29 at 6:02 am

    Oh the joy of reading statistics. Who cares HOW she got them. LOL! Even though she is the minime of her father? She is precious.

    My hubby has dark, curly hair and blue eyes. I’m blonde/blue and my family is pretty aryan. My kids are little aryans with a hint of curl to their hair. It is not clear who they look like – unlike Leta who doesn’t look like she came at all from Heather’s oven. But her personality? Is it Heather’s????

  • Karry

    2004/10/29 at 6:05 am

    Welcome to the Dooce genetic lesson of the day. How well were YOU listening in your biology class? Pop Quiz tomorrow. LOL

    I love that look by the way. My kids all did the same thing – I even remember my lil brothers doing that (we were VERY widely spaced) I almost miss having one of my own, but now that I can leave the house minus 15 pounds of stuff, I think I’ll just wait for the grandkids.

  • wn

    2004/10/29 at 6:07 am

    I can see by the background that little Leta is a very “neglected” child! Really guys, could you have made a baby that was MORE beautiful?

  • Daniel

    2004/10/29 at 6:08 am

    Oh, like that’s a real baby and not just a picture of some spectacular child in a wax museum who you’re passing off as the fruit of your loins. Sorry, not buying it. Too cute, too perfect to be a human child. It’s wax.

  • HazelEyedPisces

    2004/10/29 at 6:10 am

    I am BREATHLESS from the cuteness of that baby girl.

  • Amy S

    2004/10/29 at 6:11 am

    So Heather,
    When are you gonna get her ears peirced with some bling?? You know all babies need bling. hehehe

  • Sherri

    2004/10/29 at 6:14 am

    OMG, I think that’s my favorite photo yet.

    I have blue eyes. My mom has dark brown eyes and my dad has green. I have one blue-eyed grandparent. I remember figuring all this out with little charts in biology in 9th grade, but never thought I’d need to use any of the info. EVER again.

  • Sheri

    2004/10/29 at 6:15 am

    Wow…it’s amazing how Leta’s physical features are changing so fast. Heather, I see *you* in her face now, too.

    Just beautiful!

  • Brenda

    2004/10/29 at 6:19 am

    Chi Square Tables!
    B=Brown=dominant gene
    b=Blue=recessive gene

    #1 #2 #3 #4
    Dad BB Dad Bb Dad bb Dad BB
    Mom Bb Mom Bb Mom bb Mom BB
    Brown(BB,Bb) or Blue(bb)

    #1 Brown= 4/4 100% Brown eyed kids
    #2 Br= 3/4 * Bl= 1/4 75% Brown & 25% blue eyed eyed kids
    #3 Blue= 4/4 100% Blue eyed kids
    #4 Brown= 4/4 !00% Brown eyed kids

    *There are always exceptions (i.e. gene mutations & “blending of eye colors”, actually eye color shades are determined by a group of genes)

  • Fujiko

    2004/10/29 at 6:19 am

    Ok, I might be beating a dead horse here, but…
    If you have brown eyes, you can’t really tell if your genes are Bb or BB (B being a brown gene, which is dominant over b, the blue gene). That is, unless you have a blue-eyed parent or a blue-eyed child (in which case you must be Bb). If you have blue eyes, then you must have the bb genes.
    Now, If both you and your spouse have blue eyes, and you have a brown-eyed child, then something is VERY WRONG. Either someone is screwing the mailman or there was a random mutation.
    If one of you has the BB gene (which you can’t really tell with any certainty, you can only tell if you are Bb or bb), then ALL of your children will have brown eyes. If one of you has Bb and the other has Bb or bb, then you will get a mix of brown- and blue-eyed children.

  • BBBbeth

    2004/10/29 at 6:24 am

    Way cute!!

  • shaunacat

    2004/10/29 at 6:24 am

    I will just be happy if my kids come out with eyeballs at all, no matter the color. You’d be amazed the wierd stuff that happens to me. Geez.

    Leta is adoreable!!

  • Tabbie

    2004/10/29 at 6:25 am

    Wow this gives me so much hope, I’m going to be a highschool biology teacher in a year or two and all the East Tennessee people were scaring me with their weird idea on how genetics works. I’m glad there are people out there who actually sorta get it. Try two blue eyed parents showng you their dark brown eyed child… ahem uncomfortable.

  • Karen

    2004/10/29 at 6:27 am

    What is Leta going to be for Halloween?

  • stella

    2004/10/29 at 6:27 am

    what a sweet muffin! are you going to dress her up for halloween?

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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