the smell of my desperation has become a stench

How many exclamation points does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Someone just sent me an email, again full of exclamation points (!!!!!!!), saying that I’m just mad because my boyfriend John Kerry has lost!!!!!!! Yes, she used SEVEN exclamation points. Actually, I broke up with John Kerry years ago, and I’m currently pursuing Dick Cheney, a man who obviously hasn’t pooped in 50 years. He’s definitely more my type.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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