Heater, Mother of Lance

I’ll get this whole thing into my mouth so help me God

168 Comments
  • Jenny

    2004/11/22 at 5:08 am

    So adorable. I bet she can do it too! Look at that determination!

  • Sarah

    2004/11/22 at 5:09 am

    That looks like a red Ring Ding…mmmmm, Ring Dings.

  • dolly

    2004/11/22 at 5:10 am

    FIRST!!!!!!

  • Melanie S

    2004/11/22 at 5:10 am

    I L-O-V-E her red hair!

    #2 Yeah!

  • Kelli

    2004/11/22 at 5:11 am

    Mmmm… nummy! Red, plastic toys! They’re not just for breakfast anymore!

  • dolly

    2004/11/22 at 5:11 am

    ……damn…..

  • Jordan

    2004/11/22 at 5:11 am

    She’s hungry lately! Don’t you ever feed this kid?

  • Lori J

    2004/11/22 at 5:11 am

    So earnest so determined.

  • Jeni

    2004/11/22 at 5:12 am

    …which my mom will totally capture with the camera.

  • Ed Villas

    2004/11/22 at 5:13 am

    Upss … that is not an apple !

  • Lori J

    2004/11/22 at 5:13 am

    She never tires of you taking photos of her. What an angel. Except when you leave the room….

  • Fish

    2004/11/22 at 5:20 am

    Mommy, why are your eyes all puffy and bloodshot? And why does your breath smell like college kids on spring break in Mexico?

  • Colleen from NJ

    2004/11/22 at 5:21 am

    she has a guilty look:
    pretend red ring-ding? …chomp… what pretend red ring-ding?

  • Sheryl

    2004/11/22 at 5:23 am

    Ok, I’ll stop screaming – if you could just bring back my regular mommy… the one who isn’t wearing black war paint.

  • beachgal

    2004/11/22 at 5:23 am

    Absolutely precious, as usual. Keep ’em coming!

  • Maz

    2004/11/22 at 5:23 am

    CUTENESS!!!!!

  • Stephen McKenna

    2004/11/22 at 5:25 am

    It’s funny if you think of it as her tongue licking her hand.

  • Tamra

    2004/11/22 at 5:27 am

    Amen about the depression post- get the help you need no matter what people think or say… being depressed and/or suicidal is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about. I’ve been on meds for 3 months now and it’s made all the difference in the world! Proud recovering depressives unite!

  • Paula

    2004/11/22 at 5:27 am

    The chubby hands and the dimples! I could just eat them up!

  • stella

    2004/11/22 at 5:30 am

    she may be eating the toy, but I want to nibble on those sweet little hands!

  • Moxie

    2004/11/22 at 5:34 am

    Her Screamness who screams alot everyday with the screaming is becoming self aware. She is trying to stifle it!

  • Brooke

    2004/11/22 at 5:35 am

    I hope her hair stays that color! It’s so pretty.

  • Human Writes

    2004/11/22 at 5:37 am

    I think she might give that Asian kid who can eat 58 hot dogs in 12 minutes a run for his money.

  • Angie

    2004/11/22 at 5:41 am

    Plastic must one of the lesser-known food-groups. Yum!

  • Mari

    2004/11/22 at 5:44 am

    She’s a beauty and she looks wise beyond her 9 months.

  • kEma

    2004/11/22 at 5:44 am

    Leta: “I swear to God, if this RED PLASTIC TOY don’t go in my mouth right away, I am going to scre-ehh-eehhhhhh-eeeemmmm!”

  • Russ

    2004/11/22 at 5:47 am

    “One pill makes you smaller….”

    Your daughter is well on her way to being a rockstar! From you stories, it sounds like shes got the wailing thing down already! Go Leta!

  • melanie

    2004/11/22 at 5:55 am

    I love that song by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the VMA’s last year to see that their guitarist is a guy I went to college with! Yeah, he was too cool for me even then.

  • Em

    2004/11/22 at 5:59 am

    As usual – simply precious. I could just eat her up!

  • Girl.A

    2004/11/22 at 6:00 am

    *Morpheus:* That you are a baby, Leta. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. (long pause, sighs) Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
    (In his left hand, Morpheus shows a blue pill.)
    *Leta:* Ghhhhgaghhhhga (Leta’s eyes widen and rool runs down Leta’s chin)
    *Morpheus:* You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your crib and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in Toyland and I show you how deep the toybox goes. (Long pause; Leta begins to reach for the red pill)
    *Morpheus:* Remember — all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.

  • Kieran

    2004/11/22 at 6:02 am

    Looks like me when I used to play hockey. I still taste puck in my mouth

  • Yolanda

    2004/11/22 at 6:03 am

    hi. Love your site. Your kid is adorable.:)

  • Laurie

    2004/11/22 at 6:10 am

    Is that a red hockey puck? Or a cap to something? I can’t tell? 😀

    Her hair is getting so long and shaggy. 🙂

  • Lauri

    2004/11/22 at 6:11 am

    Me: Ooohhh! Look how cute!
    Ethan (7): What is that red thing?
    Me: I’m not sure . . . probably a block of some kind.
    Ethan: Or red cheese.

  • chrissy

    2004/11/22 at 6:11 am

    Girl.A — that was cute. 🙂

  • bb

    2004/11/22 at 6:12 am

    the best pics you put up are of ‘that kid’.. always a pleasure to see.

  • Meg

    2004/11/22 at 6:16 am

    Hey Girl A–thanks for a laugh this morning!

    Leta is, as ever, the queen of all she surveys.

  • maricar

    2004/11/22 at 6:20 am

    Aww.. she’s so adorable! Thanks, I really needed a smile today.

  • Mrs.Stray

    2004/11/22 at 6:20 am

    She is so sweet. She has this look like she is trying way to hard to look innocent. Almost like “What, what??”
    Girls.A ~~ Right on point with that Matrix bit!!

  • sab

    2004/11/22 at 6:22 am

    It’s okay I love seeing pictures of her!

  • Mo

    2004/11/22 at 6:35 am

    did anyone go as the White Stripes and get inappropriately touchy with their brother-husband/sister-wife? Cause that would have been cool too.
    (*haha* pleated jeans)

  • TracyDee

    2004/11/22 at 6:37 am

    It’s easier to cram things into your mouth when you don’t have any teeth 🙂

  • kate

    2004/11/22 at 6:41 am

    thanks also for the depression post. so wish i could forward it to all my friends and make them read it and understand what i’m going through better. i’m thankful i’m not as deep into as many, but it’s still scary and hard and just knowing that i’m starting to journey in the right direction wtih therapy and all makes me feel better.

  • Paige

    2004/11/22 at 6:48 am

    Oh man her hair is getting hilarious.

  • KS

    2004/11/22 at 7:06 am

    Look at that! Jenny was number 1 and didn’t even brag! We should all be so modest.

  • Jme

    2004/11/22 at 7:09 am

    the way she was holding that thing, you know she’s had practice. It’s like, “hey, I’ll just take a dainty nibble out of this red toy just as if it was a cracker.” Any cheese to go along with it?

  • The Mighty Jimbo

    2004/11/22 at 7:11 am

    mmmm, plastic-y goodness.

  • kim

    2004/11/22 at 7:11 am

    absolutely understandable. and i love getting to “watch” her grow up ;o) and thank you for the “you be well for me” post..

  • Mari

    2004/11/22 at 7:19 am

    She’s so adorable!

  • Dre

    2004/11/22 at 7:22 am

    Love that little “fat roll” crease in her wrist!

    And, please, keep on posting the Leta pics! I love them!

1 2 3 4

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more

SaveSave