Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.
  • Ali

    I love how the dog always looks as though there is most definitely something more interesting going on to the left or right of the field of vision of the photo. Hilarious. You are so lucky to be blessed with such a beautiful daughter. Actually, now that I think about it, all the dooce readers are blessed. If Leta was an ugly baby and you showered us with pictures, it’d be a totally different story. I once saw this baby that looked like a monkey. No joke. She even had the small round ears. Then her mother says, “isn’t she adorable?” and what am I supposed to say? “no, she’s the most hideous baby ever. she looks like the spawn of a monkey crossed with your husband, who is also not an attractive man”

    So in short, thanks to you and your family for being so damn aesthetically appealing. Leta is by far the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.

  • with that shirt am i the only one thinking howdy doody time?

  • My mother has not only a Star Spangled rug in her kitchen but a Star Spangled Nauvoo rug in her kitchen. There’s a lovely shadow of the Nauvoo temple over the backdrop of a flag. Isnt that fucking sweet. I always tell her “isn’t it awesome that the government was behind the temple burning? Lets celebrate that by stepping on the flag/temple while we wash the funeral potatoes off of your finest china, mother.” I think her silence means that she can’t think of anything else to add to that comment since I’m right. Either that or she is trying not to cuss me out. No bishop’s wife would cuss somebody out on THANKSGIVING FOR HEAVENS SAKE!

    Btw, Leta = adorable. I want to chew her cheeks up…but not in a scary way, thats just what I do to my kids and to cute babies.

    the end

  • jm

    Leta: “ROAR! I am THE LETA!!! You WILL obey me! ROAR!” (She’s so cute when she is waving her arms and trying to be scary. It doesn’t work. Such cuteness makes it hard to see “scary.”)

    Chuck: “What is that? Can I have that?”

  • Bloody hell you get a fair few comments don’t you? This is a bit of a pointless one as that is pretty much all I’m saying presently. I could comment on your gorgous (i never could spell that word) site design as well but I think I’ll save that for another day.

  • Man, I love your dog. he always looks so chill. Like, if he could talk, he’d be the coolest guy ever.

    Leta’s cute, but you already know that.

  • Kahli

    She is very, very cute. THat shirt is fabulous!

    What was the Thanksgiving picture?

  • Kahli , I am also wondering what the Thanksgiving photo was…Looks like it could be one of those 60’s paperweights made of resin and filled whith wheat. What was it Dooce?

  • i will never tell!

  • That shirt is awesome. Much better than a scratchy, froofroo, baby-torture, pink, frilly dress get-up. I have baby pics of myself trying to claw my way out of monstrosities like that. Thus *my* years of thearapy…

  • Helloid

    Hooray! I’m first to comment.

  • Kahli

    Oh no! Seriously, we looked at it like, 10 times both days. We can’t figure it out…

    Is Chuck in it?

    You ALWAYS tell!!!

    Is it from rate my poo dot com? Siiiick!

    It is beautiful, it looks like (here I go) Chuck and leaves and warm and sunrise-y… something to give thanks for anyway, unless it IS from rate my poo… nasty.

  • Dooce: you’re so right. Star-spangled mats = very wrong. I didn’t want to offend my American friends.

    Forgot to mention earlier – Dooce made it to the business section of our local paper, but they fucked up the address:

  • Was it a grapevine pumpkin with light behind/in it?

  • BB

    How cool do you feel to have created a brand-name of sorts — like Kleenex, Xerox, or Scotch tape, which people use to indicate any and all such items, even if of another brand. If you’re keeping a scrapbook of articles in which you’re mentioned, it will be a fascinating bit of family history for Leta and any siblings-to-follow. Next step: Monopoly(R) – Dooce Version. 😉

  • Is she taking flight again?

  • I too love your floors! Beautiful! And cute kids, too 😉

  • BB

    BTW – The little piece shaped like Chuck would be way more popular than the scotty dog, and somehow you simply MUST make the little shoe match those cute red shoes you sported in the photo of your neighbor-defying dance. Yes, I think I’m onto something here! If it’s not already in the works, feel free to run with the idea — I think you’d make lots of readers happy.

    Happy Holidays to your sweet family!

  • me

    so here i am, a week without _any_ net access, and mf gf is waiting foe me to log on and read hardware/games news. but no, the first thing i read is dooce.
    yippe hooray

  • Meg

    admiring your flooring…

  • I love Leta’s top! That material is fabulous – why I can’t I find grown-up clothes that cool?

  • poppy

    What is Leta WEARING???

  • poppy

    OMG is that fashionable in UTAH?

  • Amanda B.

    Gee whiz. The Thanksgiving picture sure is pretty. All I eeeever wanted is just know what it is a picture of. I’m just a poor, sad, wittle person…sittin here, thinkin how happy I’d be if I only knew what it was. Sigh. Sniff.

    P.S. Heather Armstrong is pretty, and sweet, and smart, and funny, and smells like a flower. *blink blink*

  • i’ll still never tell! but, just for you, Amanda B., i’ll let you know that it was taken outside.

  • Kahli

    If someone guesses, will you tell?

    YOu see, I have 9 chapters about a small village in Greece to read by Tuesday, and really.. I would rather check the comments on every 3o minutes (we got a cuckoo clock forour wedding so Iam always on schedule with the obesessing!)Will youtellthen?

  • Shelly Rae

    Love the shirt! I once had cowboy flannel sheets in a similar style. Then I put holes in them wearing cowboy boots to bed.

    I think the Thanksgiving photo was a stained glass window taken from outside at night. That warm glow is the light from inside, rather than the other way around. I’ve photographed a lot of stained glass though–perhaps I’m fixated…

  • Amanda B.

    Well, i think it’s a close up of the -illuminated by a flashlight heiney of a space-monkey, directly after having been discoverd in the bushes.

    Run Mr. Space monkey- Run!

  • Amanda B.

    Note to self: Do not mix nightly crack-rock with Tryptophan.

  • I find that if I mix nightly crack-rock with tryptophan, I get a good bit of sleep between episodes of picking my burnt lips and stealing money from my husband’s wallet.

  • Leta’s first internet diaper shot!

  • Sheryl

    Hey u’all – Hey Amanda B. How was graciasgiving? Or is it mercisgiving?

    I still think the Thxgiving pic was a composite of images, all light behind branches (silhouettes)… But maybe I have just had to much chronic.

  • Kahli


    I am two Bailey’s too far to continue my perusing of the lives of Spartokholiots…

    Heather, I think you are the best writer on the planet, you were up for the Booker Prize and the Pulitzer this year, blog category? Also, don’t you have Oscar inthe wings for Best Screenplay? For your recognizable from afar contribution to “My Life: Punk Rock”?
    Oh, and the PHOTOS and my GOD YOUR contributions to all things FASHION FORWARD and schlick!

    Any more hints? Har.

    HAve a wonderful weekend and beautiful night, everybody.



  • ChickenFlicken- You love Jeff Buckley AND Emmy Lou?? You are the crack-rock MASTAH!!!

    Howdy Sheryl! Holidays were wonderful- ate too much, slept just the right amount, put up our tree. How were yours?

  • Sheryl

    Heylo Amanda B,
    It was warm and peaceful, didn’t eat too much, but I did sleep. We had my nieces over last night and I didn’t do my usual (get up at 11 pm and stay up a few hours writing). I stayed in bed and actually went to sleep – it had to be the Leftovers Tryptophan.

    Tonight I tried out my super old Epilady, but after 3 shots of tequila I still couldn’t take the pain. I could only do one leg. Throb.

    I musta had ballso’steel when I was younger and could use this thing. Tried the cheap way tonight and I do prefer the wax I guess. Less prolonged. Doesn’t require falling into a semi-conscious semi-hallucinatory stupor. I am thankful for the wax, and for the Brazilian lady who does it so well.

    AmandaB are you southern belle?

  • Look…it’s ‘Chuck & Cheeks’.

    Heather/Dooce – so thankful you share your life with us everyday. Your blog is definitely a ray of sunshine 🙂

  • Sheryl

    Goodnight, comment wit you soon.
    Must go now.

    BF Man is watching It’s a Wonderful Life and made up a rap during the commercial to get me to cuddle with him.

    Can’t … resist … his … rhyme … and his brown eyes.

  • Has anyone seen the portal site that lists as “a modern-day Erma Bombeck”?
    Erma Bombeck was never as astute as Madam Dooce. Southern accent and all. 😉

  • YUM! What a gorgeous baby. All the photos together with all your stories ALMOST makes me want one of my own…almost. I will stick with my own iteration of Chuck for now. I think Chuck heard a squirrel in Massachusetts and is intently waiting for it to get closer. LOVE CHUCK!

    P.S. I painted one room in my house today ONE ROOM and am sick of being handy around the house – all that work Jon did … makes him a saint.

  • Paula

    Leta is so adorable, I could gobble up her cheeks.
    As for Chuck, what a handsome dog!

  • DurhamNative

    Ok, Heather, this may be a bad thing to tell you, but while at Linens & Things I found something you might need to have. It’s made by Rival and it is some kind of crockpot type device that makes, you guessed it, Buffalo Wings!!! Imagine an appliance dedicated to the glory that is the Buffalo Wing. Just thought you’d want to know.

  • Karen Rani

    “THE NIFFER” – I’m in London ON too! Leave it to the crapbag Free Press to mess up Heather’s URL. Geez….

    Amanda B – you and your crack make me laugh…wait a minute…that didn’t sound good.

    Where is Fish?

    TTYL – I’m off to join and become wife of the year….riiiight…

  • Ima Postin

    I thought everyone might get a kick out of this blog entry. Jon is listed as a DILF aka Dad I’d Like to Fuck. 🙂

  • Oh My God!! My husband does the same thing…the baby comb to ‘fluff’ his beard!

  • Karen Rani- no offense taken. My crack is pretty damn funny. 🙂

  • Sue From Ohio

    I think the Thanksgiving photo was of a stained glass window…

    That would be a cool game for the ‘Daily Photo’!!guess what it is….win a subscription to Dooce for a whole year, er, uh, or something like that. Autographed picture of Chuck, perhaps?!?!!

  • bb

    dooce, can you please please please please post a little clip of you saying something? I cannot imagine that you have a southern accent, especially since I feel like I know you so well through your expressive and ever so eloquent writing!

  • Mo

    On Thanksgiving day, i was carrying my baby nephew around, when all of the sudden my sister comes up to me and says, “oh, crap. his socks are gone.”
    Overwhelmed with guilt, I thrust the child into her arms, apologised for ruining her marriage before it even began, and ran away. You were in my thoughts on thanksgiving, Dooce.

    …and yeah, where IS Fish?

  • sidekick mommy

    cute shirt, we have the jammies and stocking cap to match

  • Amanda B.

    Yes. And while you’re at it, can you send me a lock of your hair? I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and I’m pretty sure I can clone you.

    *call the police*

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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