the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Alas, yet another Ceramic Abomination, this time: Baby Jesus!

458 Comments
  • Shawn

    2004/11/30 at 5:18 am

    Yikes. Who buys that stuff?

  • Laura C.

    2004/11/30 at 5:18 am

    Do you know what I did? I typed this out on Word and “refreshed” like mad, then pasted it in, just so I’d have a chance at being first. I was #3 once upon a time. In any event, this is the holiest scene I’ve ever seen.

  • Heather 2

    2004/11/30 at 5:19 am

    Maybe I’ll get that for my step-mom. Would a minister be offended by that? 😉

  • AA

    2004/11/30 at 5:19 am

    Ok, between this and the pig…I’m scarred….

  • Laura C.

    2004/11/30 at 5:19 am

    Hey, it’s a Dooce creche–the animals all appear to be somewhat constipated.

  • lauren

    2004/11/30 at 5:20 am

    ugly squared.

  • Cristina

    2004/11/30 at 5:20 am

    This is unrelated to your picture, but I came across this website
    http://www.puppybreak.com and I think you should submit pictures of Chuck!

  • Sarah

    2004/11/30 at 5:20 am

    Now the thumbnail really IS a rooster!

  • kim

    2004/11/30 at 5:20 am

    now, that is a holy scene. just, what the .. are those holy horses on the left doing?

  • LadyBug

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    The bug-eyed looks those animals are giving Baby Jesus? Well, that’s just creeeepy….

  • Angie

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    Now I know who buys all the stuff on ebay!!!!

  • GMM

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    LOOK AT THAT COW!!!

  • juuuuuuu

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    The cow looks a little unconfortable and I’m not sure I want to know what the horse on the left is doing!

  • Sarah

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    And who knew there were roosters in the desert?

  • AA

    2004/11/30 at 5:21 am

    Though maybe baby Jesus there can help that cow there with her severe osteoporosis…

  • Carol

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    Ha! Laura C. – I thought the same thing… that horse looks like he’s in pain.

    I love this!! It’s classic!

  • MelissaS

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    I think the baby Jesus is weeping.

  • Marie

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    Dooce,
    Do you actually own these “ceramic abominations”, or do you just find random freaks in Utah and ask to take pictures of their ugly shit?

  • Amanda

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    I think it’s cute…

  • pismire

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    What is wrong with the poor cow? And is that a horse? This is really freaky. Where can I buy it?

  • Amber

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    Is it just me or is that mouse like the size of that cow’s head? And the only thing that scares me more than that horse actually sticking his arse into the air that much is the person who decided to manipulate his body into that position in the first place.

  • Laura C.

    2004/11/30 at 5:22 am

    Is THIS the sort of thing Mormons go for? No wonder Dooce is an ex-Mormon.

  • shmee

    2004/11/30 at 5:23 am

    This one is even scarier than the last one. Imagine if we took all the money spent on kitschy decorations each year and spent it on finding a cure for cancer. Just imagine.

  • Dre

    2004/11/30 at 5:24 am

    Out of curiousity, may I ask, why do you have this?

    Was it a gift?

    A late night drunken 7-11 purchase?

  • ap

    2004/11/30 at 5:24 am

    That mouse is far more interested in the chicken’s ass than Baby Jesus.

  • Danielle

    2004/11/30 at 5:25 am

    It reminds me of a “claymation christmas.”

    But you know, with all of the animals eyes kind of bugged-out and their necks stuck out, it looks like they are saying “yalp, that’s one Ugly baby.”

  • Danielle

    2004/11/30 at 5:28 am

    I suppose that they are supposed to be kneeling… but ugh. how terrible.

    btw AA (#15): cow with osteoporosis! HA!

  • christy

    2004/11/30 at 5:30 am

    All the animals look like they are on acid and the baby jesus is, like, totally freaking them out, man.

    PS – Did everyone here that Ken Jennings finally lost on Jeopardy? It broke on kottke.org.

  • Laurie G.

    2004/11/30 at 5:34 am

    OK, so then, there are three horses, shall I assume they are the wise men? The chicken and rooster have wings, are they angels? Does that make the cow Mary and the sheep Joseph? And what is the mouse? The little drummer boy?

  • lulu cornichon

    2004/11/30 at 5:35 am

    What I wonder is, where are Mary and Joseph?

    “Hey animal dudes–we’re just gonna take a break from all the screee-heee-heeeeming and pop on over to the seven eleven for some smokes. Watch the kid, okay?”

  • Aly

    2004/11/30 at 5:36 am

    Baby Jesus could easily be confused with the piggies that your mother is so fond of.

  • Amber

    2004/11/30 at 5:38 am

    I think it’s kind of cute…but I’d never buy that because it actually kind of freaks me out at the same time. The animals..they are just too weird shaped.

  • Chris From Ohio

    2004/11/30 at 5:40 am

    Where’s the Christmas Lobster?

  • Carol

    2004/11/30 at 5:41 am

    My 3-year-old is a farm animal expert thanks to Fisher-Price and this photo really threw him for a loop. He was speechless. For once.

  • Colleen from NJ

    2004/11/30 at 5:42 am

    That looks like some weird scene from the animated version of Orwell’s “Animal Farm.”

  • Rosalie

    2004/11/30 at 5:43 am

    uhhh…wow?

  • patricia

    2004/11/30 at 5:44 am

    Vitamin C. Makes your pee too acidic for bacteria.

    Sorry, I had to say it.

  • Karen Rani

    2004/11/30 at 5:44 am

    Sarah – that’s what I was thinking! The thumbnail really is a rooster….what a fugly scene though….playdoh gone wrong!

  • p-hawk

    2004/11/30 at 5:45 am

    I’ve seen ceramic nativities where everyone, including Mary, Joseph, Wise Guys, and all the animals, were black bears. *shudders*

  • LadyBug

    2004/11/30 at 5:46 am

    So, Patricia, what exactly ARE you going to do with that bag of vomit you’ll soon be receiving?
    Shame on you…SHAME!

  • beachgal

    2004/11/30 at 5:48 am

    Very interesting. I think this is much better than the pig, but it’s still kind of eerie. That word does not look right spelled out. Maybe it’s wrong…I don’t know.

  • Kristen

    2004/11/30 at 5:49 am

    I’m going to have to say that I like it – maybe I’d change my mind if I saw it in person, but I like the idea of all the animals being there (and the Sandra Boyton-ish animals are my kind of animals!) without Mary and Joesph.

  • Laura

    2004/11/30 at 5:49 am

    Does it look to anyone else like Baby Jesus is swaddled in…a lettuce leaf?

  • red

    2004/11/30 at 5:51 am

    i’m assuming this is another one of your mothers ceramic knick-knacks.

    i’m from oklahoma. i can’t help that i just referred to them as “knick-knacks.”

  • Kano

    2004/11/30 at 5:51 am

    I knew this was going to happen. I like that Nativity set. Where did it come from?

  • beachgal

    2004/11/30 at 5:51 am

    It DOES look like a lettuce leaf…that’s funny.

  • LadyBug

    2004/11/30 at 5:52 am

    Laura, I’ll bet it’s cabbage. Mary must’ve been engorged.

  • Karen

    2004/11/30 at 5:54 am

    Could someone please tell what is the prize for being ‘first’ to post when a new photo appears? Are we registered for a new car or something? I don’t get it…

  • Karen Rani

    2004/11/30 at 5:57 am

    No Laura – not a lettuce leaf, a seaweed wrap….he is going for that sushi roll look!

  • Sarcastic Journalist

    2004/11/30 at 5:58 am

    away in a manger…only a chicken and a bed…

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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