An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Alas, yet another Ceramic Abomination, this time: Baby Jesus!

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    j – I knows what a creche is and whatnot.

    ‘ccordin to Google:
    a hospital where foundlings (infant children of unknown parents) are taken in and cared for

    a representation of Christ’s nativity in the stable at Bethlehem

  • Tip for not being a whatnothead

    Here in the south we just call them nativity scenes, ain’t no need gettin all fancy.

  • stella

    already 100+ comments over a ceramic creche. just imagine if it was a ceramic george bush?!

  • Sarah C.

    What’s wrong with that brown horse?

  • Hmmm…maybe this is why Dooce hates getting advice so much:
    I used “Tip for Finding Shit”‘s advice and googled “define: whatnot.” I ended up with an offer for a Chinese Whatnot Shelf or “Great Deals on Whatnot!” from ebay.
    Now, using Hank’s advice to substitute “shit” for “whatnot”…well, let’s just say I’m glad I wasn’t drinking hot coffee. Scorched nasal passages and whatnot…

  • Girl.A

    I thought creche was a crazy ass megalomaniac pedophile dude livin in a compound

  • John

    Hi, my name is John and I am also a collector of Chinese Turds. I mean, whatnot.

  • Tracy

    There’s one Bethlehem farmer that needs to ease back on the steroids in the feed. Judging from the distended bellies, I think the animals ate Joseph and Mary.

  • Danika

    I think Tracy is right. The animals ate Mary and Joseph and are just deciding who gets what part of baby Jesus.

  • Rabooka

    It’s kinda comical

  • The mouse isn’t so much looking at Baby Jesus as he is gazing at the roosters butt.


  • The whole hideous scene looks like it’s sitting atop a very bad straw-colored toupee. =snicker= 🙂

  • Apparently these freaked out farm animals have never seen a baby before. Helloooo cartoon bug eyes!

  • I want my very own GEORGE! to take home. I have a couple little ones that could use someone new to play with.

    And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him GEORGE!

  • Lori

    Why is the horses’s rear all hitched up?

    That story about GEORGE! – pictures, please.

  • That’s funny. It looks great on my nightstand. The photo doesn’t do it justice.

  • I didn’t read the 8,000 comments before me, but is it wrong I think that’s kinda cute?

  • tonya

    We want more George!

    Someone has some disturbing holiday knick knacks.

  • Paula

    George sounds wonderful. Can I borrow him? He can come to Boston.

  • Kate

    George rocks!

  • Sasha

    I love the George story! More George! More!

  • Who could doubt the awesomeness of George?

    Has someone been mean? Do I need to whip some ass?

  • Can I borrow George? Please? I will give him back I promise.

  • That is just NOT RIGHT.

  • Cows have knees, who knew!?

  • Paula

    P.S. I forgot to add, some of those animals are in very odd positions. Yeah I know I have a sick mind.

  • Sheryl: Yes.

  • My inlaws filled daughter’s head with so much of the “reason for the season” talk over the Thanksgiving weekend that on a recent trip to the mall where we spied a Santa my daughter was screaming, “I don’t wanna talk to Santa I wanna talk to baby Jesus!”

  • Caroline

    See? George IS an awesome guy. Takes one to know one, I guess. See Kano, mrs anti-George #1, and noGeorge? You suck. So you all can go suck together; it’ll be a nice, intimate suckfest. And not the good kind. Fuckers.

  • Did anyone else have the sneaking suspicion yesterday that the whole grouchy faction of K, Mrs AG1, and nG were all the same person? I just couldn’t imagine three such misguided dopes all commenting at the same time.

    Or am I just extry suspicious?

  • SaraJane

    I like it. I think its nice and fun. Almost as nice as the light up nativity set I want from Home Depot but its expensive.

  • Caroline

    OMG I just read the comment about the Jepordy! guy! How could he lose? I’m totally taping this. Damned non-TiVoed TV.

  • Leon

    I honestly owndered how long it would be before there was a “Wallace and Gromit” Christmas special.

    And as for George, the real proof is in how he handles a screaming and unruly Leta. Until we see how he deals with that trial, I do not think we can truly pass judgement.

  • Caroline

    I spelled Jeopardy! wrong. My bad.

  • Dooce, per your post: Is George for sale? I could use some help lifting giant bags of kitty litter. And I don’t have a baby, but I do have a lonely cat named Baby who could use a playmate during the day. Just thought I’d ask.

  • popsicle

    sheesh…that poor cow has some serious scoliosis…no wonder she is sitting down ! and the mouse: holy steriods ! jesus ought to feel such love to have a clan like that looking after him.

  • stella

    GEORGE! where is he going to school next? what does his family think of him leaving byu?

  • Hee! ‘I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.” I had COMPLETELY forgotten that. Which cartoon character was that? Was it a bear? I can still hear the voice in my mind (The voices! The voices!)
    Another disturbing tcotchky (where did the word “tcotchky” come from, anyway???). All the animals look like they are into ass-play (Oh god, why can’t I think of a better term than ass-play?). Except that poor cow.
    The thumbnail _was a rooster! I played guess the picture today, and I thought, “…hmmm. I think its a rooster. But it’ll end up being a shoe or a dog or a mitten or a turd or something ridiculous.” Lo and behold! It *was* a rooster! You did that on purpose, didn’t you dooce? You so cleva.
    Does anyone else see a rhino in that horse/ sheep combo in the upper right hand corner? It took me, like, a minute to figure out what they really were. I’m like, “A rhino?! Oh, that’s realistic.” Then, “OH! Duh.”
    End rambling… now.

  • BabyM

    First time poster, long time reader. Hello all!!

    Heather, I think it is about time GEORGE! gets his own category, so we can find postings on him easily.

  • ouch! my ears hurt from all the screaming.
    hi George.

  • Laura

    Chloe: Isnt it Bugs bunny or maybe elmer fud? Anyway its one of those that does that. And I soooo want a George of my own (George are you availble?)

    I agree that George also needs a blog of his own. And pictures. Lots more George pictures. Not that I dont love the Dooce. Because its the first website I log on to when I get to work.

    Dooce your website rocks. Keep it up!

  • who knew they made a Little People nativity scene?

    it looks at though the baby jesus is in the trough and the animals are preparing to munch at him.


  • and ceramic animals with advanced osteoporosis.

  • I’m just wondering how many other ‘ornaments’ your mama has bought by this ‘artist’ – I find them frightening yet strangely compelling!

  • The hug you and squeeze you line? Wasn’t it Elmira from the Looney Tunes show? Right, right?

  • That chicken looks like it’s gonna peck Baby Jesus’ eyes out.

  • I think it’s interesting that George accepts the website and you seem to have the best familial relationship with him. Funny how acceptance works, eh?

    As for the “nativity.” Did someone make this? Was it someone who needed to make a diarama for the book Animal Farm? Did the baby Jesus just happen to topple into the wrong barn?

    If not, that’s just scary. 😉

  • Heee, I just noticed that the creature that’s sneaking up on the rooster (turkey?) looks like Garfield’s stuffed bear, Pookie.

  • I love it! It’s crazy! However, if I like it, then no real God-fearing anyone should have it in their house.

    P.S. I rather liked the pig.

  • Sue

    GEORGE! If only you were older and lived in Ohio. GEORGE!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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