Heater, Mother of Lance
212 Comments
  • dre

    2004/12/14 at 5:15 am

    Huh?

  • cheryl

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    dark

  • mike

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    tres darkness!

  • Sara

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    What storm?

  • cory

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    Pretty!

  • Michael

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    wicked dahk

  • Chessy

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    I have always liked the shots that were illuminated just by lamplight. I have a collection, actually. It is sort of sad.

  • Deenzadrine

    2004/12/14 at 5:16 am

    Spoooooky…

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    Hope it’s a lightning storm so we can see what the hell’s going on.

  • Deenzadrine

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    Wait…was this right before you tried to vacuum the dog? 😉

  • Sarah

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    Right before you powered up the vacuum, right? And Leta commenced with the screaming?

  • bb

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    My no flash pics never look like that!
    Top 10!

  • Red

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    Witness protection program?

  • Michael

    2004/12/14 at 5:17 am

    yeah… what is this storm that seems to be brewing? Is it just before Leta wakes up and is inaugurated as “queen mcscreamy”

  • Eric

    2004/12/14 at 5:19 am

    Cmon Leta wake up! Chuck! Chuck!

  • Sherri

    2004/12/14 at 5:19 am

    Um…OK…

  • Alex

    2004/12/14 at 5:19 am

    That looks like George’s head.

  • Susie

    2004/12/14 at 5:19 am

    OK, now this one is just begging for verbal elaboration. A thousand words would be worth more than the picture. Come on . . .

    Deenzadrine, that’s funny.

  • cara

    2004/12/14 at 5:24 am

    I’m guessing it is before LETA has awakened…

  • Julia

    2004/12/14 at 5:24 am

    This is an absolutely beautiful photo.

  • Sheryl

    2004/12/14 at 5:24 am

    Maybe this is early in the am on Thanksgiving Day? Or right before the big snowstorm? Is that Heather’s stepdad holding her mom’s hand?

    Dr. Fever – LMFAO.

  • jkegwest

    2004/12/14 at 5:27 am

    Maybe they’ll name the next big hurricane after her…or a tropical storm. 🙂

  • Julia

    2004/12/14 at 5:28 am

    Okay, sorry to do this in today’s comments, but I just saw yesterday’s pic. How come no one else noticed that the photo from day BEFORE had her in the same pink sweater, and no one noticed? See, you guys don’t really care if she wears pink or not. Leave Dooce alone!

  • Jennay

    2004/12/14 at 5:28 am

    I’m guessing we’re in the nursery in this photo, but it definitely looks more like a room at the nursing home…

    Oooh! Or “the calm before the storm” is a foreshadowing of an awful post to follow shortly on the main page… Oh! the suspense!

  • red

    2004/12/14 at 5:28 am

    it’s lovely.

  • Julia

    2004/12/14 at 5:29 am

    “noticed that the photo from day BEFORE had her in the same pink sweater, and no one noticed”

    hello, and welcome to the department of redundancy department.

  • Stephanie

    2004/12/14 at 5:34 am

    That’s kind of freaky!

  • Fish

    2004/12/14 at 5:34 am

    Okay, I’ll say it first: What’s up with the lamp, Heather?

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    2004/12/14 at 5:36 am

    Scary bedtime stories, anyone?
    “And then the wicked witch turned on her vacuum and cackled, ‘I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little fleas, too!'”

  • Mouse

    2004/12/14 at 5:40 am

    Prablee the calm bifur thiy stert 2 kikkeeng an vacummeen thir 1 gud dag Shuck.

  • Cheryl

    2004/12/14 at 5:41 am

    Ahhh… reminds me of the last few minutes of the day when I walk around my home and make sure everything is okay.

    WHO AM I KIDDING I PASS OUT AND WAKE UP AND EVERYTHING IS PERFECT RIGHT WHERE IT IS!!

  • Kieran

    2004/12/14 at 5:41 am

    SPOOOOOKY!

  • Kieran

    2004/12/14 at 5:42 am

    YES I AM #31! GO ME GO ME! MY life is now complete because I have made it into the top 50!

    YES! MOM WILL BE PROUD!

  • SeanArthurWill

    2004/12/14 at 5:46 am

    Wow, what time do you post those pictures. Is that picture taken at like 4 in the morning right before you put it up?

    Sean

  • juuuuuuu

    2004/12/14 at 5:47 am

    looking forward to “the storm”.

  • Gia

    2004/12/14 at 5:48 am

    Looks like someone broke into your house and was sneaking around…

  • Mari

    2004/12/14 at 5:48 am

    It’s cruel and unusual punishment to make us wait a whole 24 hrs. for “the storm.”

  • MLE

    2004/12/14 at 5:54 am

    TOP 50!

  • Cammie

    2004/12/14 at 5:54 am

    I would seriously rather have fleas than lice…

  • Katie

    2004/12/14 at 5:56 am

    Oh, Mouse. Mouse should comment every stinkin’ day.

  • Miss Kimberley

    2004/12/14 at 6:02 am

    “The Calm Before the Storm” or, “We’re Trying to save money since having a baby is fucking expensive.”

  • Anita

    2004/12/14 at 6:02 am

    I thought I saw skis in the background, but they were just smudges on my screen where I had wiped off more smudges with my finger.

  • LadyBug

    2004/12/14 at 6:05 am

    Maybe this is after a buffalo wing binge, but before the, um, _effects_ of said binge?

  • Kathy

    2004/12/14 at 6:05 am

    hmm there are two people sitting, in a living room perhaps. Appears to be two males. On the table we can see a picture that appears to be of two small children.

    That’s the extent of my sleuthing abilities.

  • Amanda B.

    2004/12/14 at 6:06 am

    Kind of sca-wy picture.

    Mouse, you didn’t read yesterday’s story did you? That’s not a good story for 1 gud dag.

  • closet metrosexual

    2004/12/14 at 6:08 am

    “What, no flash again?”

    I think that’s a line from an 80’s song. Trying to remember which one will drive me nuts.

  • Michele

    2004/12/14 at 6:18 am

    Heather –
    I had to tell you that my cat *loves* to be vacuumed (though, thankfully, has never had fleas). When we get the hand vac out, he flops in our path and rolls over so we can vac his tummy.

  • victoria

    2004/12/14 at 6:19 am

    Hey, thanks for the post about flea yesterday. It reminded me that it was time to put some more Frontline on the dog this morning. See, you’re not just entertaining, you’re serving the public good, as well! Also thank you for the new meaning of Boohbah, which made me laugh, even though I have no kids and have never seen this show.

  • KellyH

    2004/12/14 at 6:22 am

    Heather- just FYI- Pert Plus kills fleas like you wouldn’t believe. No need to go riding around looking for an open pet store if you’ve got that in your shower.

  • Fish

    2004/12/14 at 6:27 am

    KellyH: That’s kind of disturbing, actually. The shampoo I, er, I mean, people who are too cheap to buy real shampoo use doubles as a pest-control agent? Can I put a perimeter of Pert-Plus around the house to keep out the carpenter ants, too?

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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