Heater, Mother of Lance

How long can he hold in the smoke?

  • Red

    2004/12/17 at 5:48 am

    Cute =)

  • ginger

    2004/12/17 at 5:48 am


  • Marcia

    2004/12/17 at 5:48 am


  • ginger

    2004/12/17 at 5:48 am

    No wait…

  • Mrs.Stray

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    Smokers! Blech
    Top 100 weeeeeeee :0P

  • sclark

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    Talk about focus

  • Badger

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    Are you sure it’s smoke? Or is constipation contagious?

  • shellibells

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    Hot stuff!! Breathe, Jon, Breathe!!!

  • ginger

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    IS that Him? I can’t tell… the beard… confusing…

  • Sarah

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    Damn, Heather. Your husband is really hot. This picture shows it very, very well, even if he does look like he just took a hit off his bong.

  • Ali

    2004/12/17 at 5:49 am

    I wish my boyfriend could grow a beard.

  • Red

    2004/12/17 at 5:50 am

    Now that i am thinking he kind of looks like Jonathan Frakes….yea baby

  • closet metrosexual

    2004/12/17 at 5:50 am

    Ok, this is way too metrosexual for even me, but, damn does that man need an eyebrow waxing!

    (Sorry Jon.)

  • dooce

    2004/12/17 at 5:50 am

    note: jon does not actually smoke. leta is not exposed to cigarette or cigar or illegal smoke of any kind. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

  • Kieran

    2004/12/17 at 5:51 am

    Is Urah jsut full of men with beards?

  • Liz

    2004/12/17 at 5:51 am

    He looks like he wants to vomit – poor darlin’

  • Jenie

    2004/12/17 at 5:51 am

    He looks so serious….and so hot!

  • Mrs.Stray

    2004/12/17 at 5:52 am

    So is he just pissed and its about to start steaming out of his ears?

  • Fish

    2004/12/17 at 5:53 am

    Sounds like a swift kick to the titanium codpiece will take care of the smoke retention problem.

    Red: “Numbah One, Engage!”

  • Fish

    2004/12/17 at 5:54 am

    Dooce: illegal smoke? My innocent Midwestern sensibility just doesn’t understand …?

  • Mary

    2004/12/17 at 5:54 am

    Liz, I was just thinking the same thing. Get that man a barf bag before it ends up all over the place!

  • hayley

    2004/12/17 at 5:55 am

    look, it’s david jason lee duchovney!

  • Ali

    2004/12/17 at 5:55 am

    I decided that after looking at this picture more closely that Jon is the perpetual snow guy. He looks like he belongs in a ski hat and winter coat.

    Also, Heather – on behalf of every moron who emails you and gives you advice, I’d like to apologize for the fact that you have to pretty much have a disclaimer for everything.

  • Heather

    2004/12/17 at 5:55 am


  • Chessy

    2004/12/17 at 5:56 am

    Thank you for sharing. Jon is quite handsome. I think the two of you make a lovely couple.

    My husband has a beard, but it is sort of the pathetic ‘geek’ version of beard. And he gets random Wolverine hair all the way up on his cheekbones. It is funny. I like it, though. I like everything about my husband.

  • Katie

    2004/12/17 at 5:57 am

    WHY DOOCE WHY do you torture me in this way???? (That’s right, that was 4 question marks.)

    I love my boyfriend, oh so much, and yet every few days you put this lustrous image of temptation before my eyes… 😉 Good thing I live in New York, otherwise I might be all up in yo man’s grill! Yow!

  • red

    2004/12/17 at 5:57 am

    he is so cute. i want one.

  • stella

    2004/12/17 at 5:57 am

    Heather, can you do a year in review? Like Best Hate Mail, Worst…etc?

  • christy

    2004/12/17 at 5:58 am

    I second that Heather – and I haven’t had a cigarette in 6 years. And I want one so bad! SO BAD! STILL!

  • Sevtek

    2004/12/17 at 6:00 am

    I’m graduating college today! And I owe some of that to Dooce.

    Thank you Dooce for having pictures to look at and archives to read to keep me from being productive when I didn’t want to and keeping me sane when I needed it.

  • c

    2004/12/17 at 6:03 am

    Lately I have been applying a little thumb massage to the vertical crease in between my own husband’s eyebrows and reminding him: “You don’t have to do that when you are thinking. You can still think perfectly well without dividing your forehead in half.”

  • Carol

    2004/12/17 at 6:06 am

    Jon: “is he really gonna finish that whole LumberJack Breakfast Special?”

    “This Egg Nog Latte sucks!”

  • Deenzadrine

    2004/12/17 at 6:08 am

    In ref to the whole t-shirt idea – why not use the graphics from the various mastheads you’ve designed? I’d buy me one of those, LOL.

    T-shirt sales = Leta’s college fund!

  • August95

    2004/12/17 at 6:09 am

    hrrrr, yum and yowsser. Oh, Sorry, nice picture Heather.

  • Julia

    2004/12/17 at 6:09 am

    Never mind about the extraneous beard and eyebrow hairs. Dooce, when he gets to that certain age, you are going to have SUCH fun pulling out the ear hairs with tweezers. Don’t let him get one of those little shavers – it’s much more fun to pull them out, plus they take longer to show up again.

  • liz

    2004/12/17 at 6:09 am

    is this taken at the same “Egg Nog Latte” coffeeshop in which George was sleeping yesterday?

    If so, then it sorta looks like Obi Jon Kenobe is using his Jedi Mind Power on George: “This is not the Egg Nog Latte you were looking for…”

  • RandyRambunctious

    2004/12/17 at 6:09 am

    Yay! First!

    *a tad delusional i know…so sue me.*

  • Angie

    2004/12/17 at 6:19 am

    Crikey – it looks like the smoke’s going to start coming out of his ears!

  • honestyrain

    2004/12/17 at 6:21 am

    smoke! that changes everything!

  • Jenn

    2004/12/17 at 6:21 am

    My husband has a beard too. When we’re having sex I pretend that I’m making love to a plaid flannel-wearing bear hunter who resembles Jon Stewart on steroids.

    Well, only part of the time. Ok, 3/4 of the time! Shut up.

  • Melanie S

    2004/12/17 at 6:26 am

    Fish: I seriously doubt that you you’re THAT pure!

    Dooce: Jon is such a good lookin man. I wish my hubby could pull off the full beard.

  • Regan

    2004/12/17 at 6:26 am

    You’re right! He does kind of look like that!

    Relaaaaaaax Jon!

  • Cate

    2004/12/17 at 6:27 am

    *“This is not the Egg Nog Latte you were looking for…”*

    liz, you cracked me up! My first real laugh of the day – Thank you. There’s a reason dooce is my first internet stop every morning.

  • TracyDee

    2004/12/17 at 6:35 am

    It looks like he’s counting to ten before he explodes… what did you do THIS time? 🙂

  • Amanda B.

    2004/12/17 at 6:35 am

    He looks like he’s doing the “Picture time. I want to look cool and introspective, but not obviously so. K, don’t look at the camera- and don’t pose. Think deep thoughts and maybe throw in a sexy eyebrow lift? -no, that’s too much. Wait maybe if I…” CLICK. “damn.”

    He’s a dreamboat too. And by the way, I DO smoke real but legal ciggerettes so bring on the noise!

    *again with defensive karate pose*

    Fish- Who does number two work for?!

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    2004/12/17 at 6:35 am

    Sharpies smell like ass.

  • AgMommy

    2004/12/17 at 6:37 am

    I’m sure the dog will suffer only temporary brain damage. I think that we’ve all smelled a sharpie or two in our day.

  • Carol

    2004/12/17 at 6:40 am

    Amanda B. – I smoke, too. I’m quitting Jan.1 for the kajillionth time.

    Yes, that is a real measurement.

  • Sarah

    2004/12/17 at 6:41 am

    If smelling Sharpies is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

    By the way, I just saw an ad for CLICKABLE Sharpie’s! How did they not come out with those before?

  • Brooks

    2004/12/17 at 6:43 am

    He’s not wearing a black sweater vest is he?

1 2 3 6

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more