An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Another futile attempt to adorn the child in headwear

  • cute!

  • woohoo! and it’s the hat I made for her! Great color on her, and note how well it stretches. 🙂 She can wear it for years to come, but only if she chooses to….
    Good luck with those teeth, too.

  • Janie

    Oh, so cute! Beautiful colors, too.

  • Okay, she looks like she likes it.

  • Very Christmas-y, but also she kind of looks like an Irish paper boy!

    “If this hat doesn’t come off my head in 2 seconds, I am going to scream like you’ve never heard before, Woman.”

  • Liz in Iowa

    I just wanted to wish you, Jon, Leta, and Chuck a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year–you have taught me a lot about life since I started reading a year or so ago and I wish you the best in the coming year!

  • Aww, Leta is adorable. 🙂

  • brian

    hey colleen! beat you to the site!

  • Lisa S

    Gorgeous, as always


  • Marina

    Leta is looking so much older lately! Lovely, lovely child, Heather. You are doing a fabulous job.

  • so next time jon wants to know what he’d look like in a red hat….he’ll just ask leta.

  • Ali

    Awwww. Leta is so adorable. My mom showed your site to all her friends at work, Heather, and they think you’re absolutely hilarious. She especially thought the premarital sex/coffee thing was funny…and felt the need to repeat it like six times just to prove to me that it was just that funny.

  • Brooke from CT

    Look at those eyes! That green is amazing; the shirt really brings it out. Don’t worry, none of my girls took a liking to anything on their heads. Such a cute idea, but it was whipped off within seconds.

  • OMG, that’s a priceless glare.

    “Mom. I TOLD you not to put a hat on me. Why don’t you ever LISTEN?”

  • liz

    it looks like she needs a cheek bra.

    (that sort of sounds like an insult, but it’s totally not. it’s a lame attempt at humor. she’s abso-frickin-lutely adorable. happy sunday!)

  • Yup, she is definitely the cutest kid I’ve ever seen. Although she’s looking pretty pissed off. Still cute though!

  • Are you at the mall?

  • Cute. Looks like she’s trying to pull it off though.

  • PETA wants to know how many Kermits pelts were used to make that coat.

  • I don’t blame you, Leta. I wouldn’t wear that either. It looks like the devil’s yarmulke.

  • Gia

    Top ‘o the mornin’ to ye!

  • I am really enjoying the color combo going on between the coat and hat. I am also enjoying the expression on Leta’s face that so poignantly reads: get this damn hat off my head NOW or suffer the consequences.

  • She’s just stretching it out so that it fits when she’s older . . . Like 16 or so.

  • Andre

    It would be cool if you posted the photoshop files for download to some of these pictures because I love what you do with them.
    BTW: She is really cute, but I’m a guy and can’t really say that out loud :p

  • Leta (through clenched teeth): Have I or have I not made it clear to you that there will be *consequences* for this kind of insulting behavior, Woman?
    That is all. I will now have a Cheerio.”

  • Great hat! My boys would never wear hats when they were small. Now they wear ball caps everywhere.

  • Babies hate hats. Say it three times fast.

  • “The hair! Mom, you’re messing my hair! I’ve finally *got* some and here you are covering it up and – forget it. I’m just gonna scream.”

    Does anyone else think that Leta looks like Liv Tyler? (who I think is beautiful, that’s s’posed to be a compliment.)

  • Susan

    hey dooce– you were mentioned in the new york times today:

  • Adorable! Love the colors.

  • Oh my God Heather… your girl is so sweet. I hope you and your family are sailing with peaceful wind this Christmas. Lots of kisses, guys…

  • Paula

    Leta seems to be saying “Im asking nicely now to take this hat off me before the screaming commences”. So adorable.

  • When she’s old enough that you can reason with her, you can explain that hats are STYLISH and that she will be considered COOL if she wears them (particularly if they’re made from cranberry-colored chenille).

  • I want her coat. It looks so snuggly.

    Oh, and I love the colour of the hat.

  • If Leta doesn’t want the hat, I’ll be happy to take it off your hands. 😀

  • Those smoochy cheeks are looking mighty frustrated with the whole hat scenario.

    I just watched part of Jessica and Nick’s Christmas thing. I can’t endorse it. And I can’t get those brain cells back either.

  • Karen

    Festive baby!

  • I bet she is going to be a photo model! There’s NO other way, i swear!

  • “How am I supposed to get this thing in my -mouth- if it’s -up on top of my head-??”

    I think she’s displaying highly advanced logic abilities… if she stretches it enough, she’ll be able to have the headwear and eat it too.

  • Erin

    J in KC – such beautiful work!

    And no surprise on the Leta’s hat issues, only 2 out of my 3 were willing to wear hats at that age. The other would rise to near violence when an adorable hat would approach his head!

  • Yesterday we tried to take a f’n xmas picture with headgear on all three of our little one–stupid idea.

  • Simply ADORABLE!

  • It looks like she’s thinking, “Mother, why did you DO THIS to me? Why? WHY?”

  • Dooce, do you know stinking, filthy rich you could be?
    Go to Ebay, set up an account.
    Now just go about your daily life and slowly add things that you have taken pictures of that people have commented on that they LOVE.
    EBAY ITEM: George’s Harley shirt…may the bidding start.
    EBAY ITEM: Pig on a candy cane..
    EBAY ITEM: Empty M&M container
    EBAY ITEM: single socks
    EBAY ITEM: Chuck’s half eaten rawhide bones.
    EBAY ITEM: The horsey jammies that Leta wore in Dec…

    I swear EVERYONE loves SOMETHING from every single one of your pictures. You could make a killing.

    Your Rooster shoes, if put on Ebay, could actually put Leta through college.

  • wow, now that’s a great picture

  • Salut. She looks like a little Parisian. She’s just too cute. And she looks a little peeved.

  • Melanie


  • Seajay

    How adorable. I do not envy you the sleepless nights you might have to endure due to the teething. My son who is seven and a half months got his first teeth a few months ago and now we’re suffering through the two tops ones coming in. I have no advice for you which most likely makes you very happy, I wish I could get some good advice that I haven’t tried already. Good luck!

  • I’m with Kristine on the eBay thing. Just imagine how much money you could get for the festive holiday pig from hell!!! You could start your own eBay store… “as seen on Dooce”.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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