An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Attack of the Holiday Hair

  • Stacy

    Good God woman!

  • Julia


  • Julia

    Ok, second. And wow, that’s CURLY HAIR!

  • stacy


  • Kev

    You should have seen my hair this morning… Great picture!

  • libbiegrrl

    MY GAWD!! Shirley Temple, reincarnated!

  • eb

    two times the heather.

    happy new year!

  • Oh, so very funny! My hair does that same thing when I try to use curlers. This is why they’ve been sitting on the closet shelf, lonely, for quite some time now.

  • I’m just jealous that curlers actually WORK on your hair. I can leave my hair in curlers for hours and, when I take them out, VOILA…completely straight, limp hair. Bah!

  • Chiara

    woowoo! happy, healthy 2005 to dooce and friends! my good friend orit turned me on to and now i am a huge fan. Love the Leta, Chuck, George, Jon and Heather stories–not sure about the curls but way to try new things….

  • Ah, Heather, you are always ALWAYS beautiful.

  • Oh, dear.

    Was it hot rollers? ‘Cause that’s pretty much what my hair looks like _every time_ I decide to re-try the hot rollers. I’ll have this image in my head of what my hair will look like…you know, those soft, fluffy curls, like in the Pantene commercials…I take the curlers out and…sigh…it looks like…well, it looks just like yours, there. Such a disappointment…

    Oh, and if ever you had a reason to look pissed off in a picture, THAT’S it.

  • Um, yeah. When I use curlers, the front of my hair looks like that, and the back of my hair is flat, with maybe a slight kink or two. I get lazy.

  • That looks like the same hairstyle as the mom in That 70’s show. You need to go in the kitchen and start baking.

  • hee hee hee. Guess you oughta put those curlers back in the box marked “1986.”

  • Danielle

    Yep, that would be a “head for the sink and try again” moment.

  • hot hair, dooce. HOT.

  • Dude, it takes me 4 hours to make my hair curl. Yours looks great! Happy holidays. :o)

  • red

    WOW. that is some curly hair, woman!

  • By the way, my …er… wife was asking, isn’t it about time for another update to the continuing saga of Heather’s Hair?

  • al

    Curls, ah, no be very afraid

  • Sassy!

  • Fish said at 07:39AM, 12.30.2004:
    By the way, my …er… wife was asking, isn’t it about time for another update to the continuing saga of Heather’s Hair?

    Your “…er…wife”? What, has she disowned you? Have you been a naughty Fish?

  • Liz

    Oh dear God. What on earth were you thinking, Dooce? Are you entering a pageant? Run to the shower immediately.

  • kat

    Curls are IN…Fun and Festive, all you need is a bow and some mistletoe. Happy 2005!

  • sweet sassy molassey!

  • Jenie

    I’m hearing Good Ship Lollipop in my head….wonder why…

  • If that supermodel with the shattered pelvis never walks again, I think we’ve found our new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model. Time to dust off that sequined bikini, Heather.

  • quote: are you entering a pageant?


    The furtive lurking is the funniest part for me.

  • I like it. 🙂

  • Bean

    You might now be satisfied with the results the first time, but you need to stick with it for a week or two and keep trying. You’re trying something new and it takes time to work it out.

    Most innovations start out by being worse than the thing they set out to replace.

  • George Lover

    Now, I think it’s a smashing look. Kind of 20s or 40s retro. Not an everyday look, but very cool. Did Leta have a reaction?

  • To murder Billy Joel:

    She can curl if she wants
    But she’s always a hottie to me

  • That is so totally NOT punk rock.

    I still think you rock tho 🙂

  • My hair is blonde and very very thick. When I was a kid, perms were all the rage. My mom made me get a “body perm” at the age of 12. It was awful. I looked like a blonde Darth Vader – my hair just angled out from my head at the proper angle and the edges seemed sharp enough to snap in two any brush stupid enough to come that close.

    I will never ever curl my hair again. The years of therapy just aren’t worth it.

  • I should try that one time =p

  • i’m scared. mom hair.

  • To quote “Ghost”:

    “Damn baby, what’d you do to yo hair?”

  • Throw on some moon boots and you can go to your New Years party as Napoleon Dynamite.


  • Leta didn’t react, but I did. ROWWR.

  • Janie

    You do not look happy about your hair.

  • becaru

    Heather, you know that we’re laughing with you rather than laughing at you because we have ALL HAD OUR HAIR LOOK LIKE THAT AT SOME POINT!! I admire your courage at actually photographing yourself in this state.

    May your 2005 be 365 good hair days.

  • Jon, you are funny.

  • I think it looks great!

  • You didn’t show that hair to the baby I hope. You still look great in any case.

  • Wow. That is some hair! Like a poodle that licked a toaster, but if anyone could pull it off it’s you Heather. Work it Girlfriend!

  • Oh my goodness! That is some hair you got there, girl. (How Southern was *that*?)

    It is a sad world we live in when we are forced to be scared of our curlers, and what the curlers will *do* to you. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing.

  • My Halloween cotume this year was Like A Virgin Madonna, so I pulled out the pink sponge rollers and had a hell of a time trying to recreate her curls. My hair is STRAIGHT and it throws a fit when I try to give it some wave.

  • Jon, it must be so hard to control yourself when your wife is sporting such sexy hair. Down Boy!

  • Good LORD woman!! I think they are attacking your head!! But hey, your hair could like like ANY of these…

    Your broken foot post was quite amusing I have to say. I doubt you found it as funny, but I am sure Jon laughed when you missed him and hit the metal box. Heh, box.

    Boxes will NEVER ever ever be right again in my mind. I just want to give everyone a gift in a box, a really nice box so they will comment on how nice the box really is. OOh, it’s all about the box.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more