An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Hammer time!

  • You also look like you’re in the air and clinging onto those lights.

    good times.

    Love the new banner!

  • al

    Leta wasn’t watching was she?

  • tickled

    Jess from B-lo, hunny, please
    clarify. I hit refresh all the time, but it don’ ever get me no masthead!

    Also–did someone say something about pine green?
    All I’ve ever gotten is a sh– brown left-hand border from which the letters look as if they’ve barely managed to escape.

    And the comment numbers! Oh migawd, the comment numbers!
    THEY’re in burnt orange, barely distinguishable from the sh– brown. What’m I doing wrong?

  • Totally fun pic. Trying to fly w/o the feather?

  • what i think is funny is everyone spends an entire morning arguing over who was or was not first. the fact that this poor child thinks being today’s first commenter is an accomplishment worthy of thanking her personal diety for is touching yet sad.
    the fact that 20 people tried to convince her she was NOT first and then laughed their asses off when ran from the room sobbing, is pretty damn sadistic. laura, you can come down from the top of that building now because you were first.

  • donnaly

    I too can’t wrap my brain around that much distruction. I spent a lot of time here:

    The photos on the multimedia section tore at my heart. Thank you for providing me another way to help contribute the ait being sent to those who have lost everything.

  • melissa

    Nice new look! Just wanted to mention that in Canada, until Jan 11, if you donate to Red Cross/World Vision etc for tsunami relief the Canadian government matches your donation so your cash goes twice as far. I know some U.S. donors have gone to the site to donate so they can get the double up.

  • Shake that money maker girlfrien’!

  • I should clarify…in my comment about Laura’s “acceptance speech,” I added the stuff about thanking the fans, etc. I should’ve done a better job of separating that part from the quoting of Laura’s comment. Sorry ’bout that.

  • Aw Dooce. You’re a sweetheart. We are so blessed in this country- it’s the least we can do to share the wealth when people are in need.


    Jesus says you’re off the hook for the dancin.

  • RazDreams

    tickled: clear your CACHE, child!!! “Clear it, Clear it, Clear it like a Etch-A-Sketch screen!!!”

    anyone willing to help: do you guys see Comment Numbers (i.e., do you see which comment # I am right here for this post)? where do you see it, and how do i get my machine to show me comment numbers?

  • you’re #111. you need a mac, my PC at work doesn’t show it either.

  • Amanda B: Jesus told me to tell you that he really needs his suits back from the drycleaners.

  • tickled

    Raz Dreams — I just DID clear my cache, my throat, my desk, etc.

    Didn’t do any good.


  • Tickled: it may be something with your security software, or you just need to dump your cache completely and start from scratch as Razdreams said.

    Razdreams/MG2: download and use Mozilla’s Firefox on the PC. Open source is good, and you’ll see the comment numbers.

  • tickled: sorry about the repetetive advice.

  • oooh no!!! FLASH BACK GALORE!! Can you believe that my parents and school friends allowed me to enter the fifth grade talent show dancing to “You can’t touch this”??? A white girl ballerina and her hip hop routine…..*gasp* Horrible. Just horrible. Thank dooce. *rasberry*

  • I think it’s Internet Explorer that doesn’t show the comment numbers. Mozilla and Macs seem to display comment numbers as does my blackberry.

  • donnaly

    comment numbers show up on my PC using IE (as well as on foxfire on the home PC)

  • Cindy

    You are a truly wonderful person.

    Thank you for all you do in sharing the humor and beauty in your life. Your compassion, complexity, humor, and bravo is truly a gift.

    Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  • So how does Google Adsense work? Does money automatically get generated if I click one of the google links on dooce?

  • I thought I was clever and figured out what Thanksgiving’s photo was …, but I don’t think I did.

    Shake your thang!

  • Tickled:
    Sorry darlin it worked for me. I’ll stop pretending to be computer literate.

  • Shawn

    Hot moves there Sweet Feet!

  • I am so glad I have learned to set the coffee cup down before reading a comment from Dr. Johnny Fever. Experience saved me a Juan Valdez Sinus Flush. Couldn’t pick it back up until the conversation geeked out to “use firefox.”

    Y’all make me giggle.

  • Jeanine

    Just read your letter to Leta. It brought me to tears. Isn’t love a wonderful thing?
    Love the dance…you don’t show enough pictures of your fine self!

  • kim

    I actually skanked on New Year’s Eve, because my husband did his attempt at skanking, and my, he can’t skank to save his life, so I skanked all over his ass.

    (my friend and I actually moshed at my wedding too, but alas, we went at it really hard on the first go, and so one full-on body slam was as long as it lasted, alas.)

  • wix

    it looks like you’re jumping on the bed! and those hanging lights to your left? superfuckingcool. oops, that’s supertraintrackscool…i’m cutting down on the cursing before CX’s first word is ‘fuck’.

  • Whoa!
    Break. It. Down.

  • Award for best out of context quote for today goes to Kim:

    “so I skanked all over his ass.”


  • zchamu

    Dooce, you are fucking awesome in so many ways.

  • There’s a skank that lives on my street. She kinda smells like ass.

    My mom told me never to skank because I would grow up to look like Zingbah.

  • Girl.A: is that kind of like ‘if you keep making that face its gonna stay that way’?


  • tickled

    NEWSFLASH to Fish and RazDreams: Thanx for advice, but ‘twaren’t practical; I’m on a Mac, not a PC, and I don’t have Mozilla. BUT: Big Dad stumbled out of bed at that moment, ambled over to the iMac, and within moments I got the masthead, the color, the works!

    When I asked him what magic he worked, he said he didn’t do
    nothin’–that dooce herself must be diddling with the programming.

    Right now I’m getting everything
    hunky-dory on Explorer except no pic of bouncing dooce. Getting different layout on Netscape–all text centrally located but no comment numbers.

    Dooce, dearie, was Big Daddy right? Are you tinkering with the innards?

  • Fish- Mary’s baby daddy said watch it or He will smite thee.

  • Leon

    Everytime you see her
    That Dooce is just so hyped
    It’s Heather Go Heather
    Heather B Yo Dooce and the rest can go and play

    Shaking it like a white girl
    ….at least she’s not biting her bottom lip

  • If your face makin it with a skank, you face will get that way.

  • Weez

    Dooce is on BBC (sort of)! This article talks about being “dooced”. They don’t mention you specifically, but we all know the origins of that word.

  • Damn, were you drunk there? You go Dooce!

  • Amanda B: yeah unto thee, Mississippi Queen, cometh the angel of fire to smoke yo’ ass.

    So sez the Burning Bush.

  • all right stop.
    colaborate and listen.
    dooce is back without constipation.

  • donnaly

    Closet Metro giggles?

    Say it ain’t so!

  • LMAO! Were you really doing the Hammer? Go Heather GO Heather It’s not your birthday!

    It said : DOWNLOAD MC HAMMER NOW! On your google Ad.
    Then it said: “Discounted, Embroidered aprons!” WTF?

  • LeChico

    dear dooce,

    your concern for us and the problems we’re facing here in south+south east asia is touching. its people like u who are our beacon of light when thgs here r so dismal.

    i returned to for the first time since the 26th and as always, you’ve made me smile.

    thank you!

  • Damn. We are a bunch of goofy crackers. That means you too Jimbo. I actually believe that 4 outta 5 people here know most of the words to “Ice Ice Baby”.

    Fish- uh huh huh…you said “bush”.

  • Yeah I giggle. Fish, Amanda B, Girl.A, Gordon and Mighty Jimbo just made me giggle again.

  • Danielle

    I love the new look! But also? Is there a GOOD interpretation of the Roger Rabbit? I think not. Nothing about that “move” is good. Except the nostalgia factor.

  • bb

    Honestly, what were you doing????

  • La Pixiatrix

    That expression beats a shitty-ass smile any day of the week!

    Pump a little bit and let ’em know it’s going on
    Like that
    Like that
    Cold on a mission so fall on back
    Let ’em know that you’re too much
    And this is a beat
    They can’t touch

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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