An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

His ego writing checks his body can’t cash

  • Last year my husband and I were considering adopting another dog. But when we witnessed the unholy mess that a 95 lb male Rottweiler and 65 lb female Rottweiler created we quickly changed our minds.

    But we do try to set up play dates for the Blue dog whenever we can. He intimidates the hell out of other dogs.

  • Once again, as Chuck’s talent agent…I demand my fee. I paid good money to get the black lab.

  • I really REALLY hope that is Leta’s poop you are talking about.

    At least Chuck plays with other dogs, ours just scampers away from them.

  • I am staring right through your head, you bearded freak! Go Chuck.

  • Writing Chucks his body can’t cash?

  • Carol

    Chuck seems to be an awesome dog!!

    I’d be a Jack Russell.

  • Yep, Chuck looks like he just might get his butt kicked…but at least he’s not slinking off with his tail between his legs, like a little girlie-dog.

    Yay! Mouse is here today!
    Hi Moss. Aam glid tu si yew hir tuda. Frim Ladebug

  • That is a great shot. I love how when dogs are really excited their eyes roll back in their head and make them look a little freaky.

    This would be a great painting.

  • I’m confused. Is Chuck being aggressive in a territorial way, or in a Pepe LePew “Kiss me, you fool” manner?

    Either way, Hump Day goes better with Chuck!

  • Awww…Chuck! That dog looks a little bigger than you my sweet doggie.

  • shy

    ah chuckles. my jack russel terrier (all of 15 lbs) does the same…with mastiffs and red nosed pit bulls from bed stuy brooklyn… that dog seriously has a screw loose if he thinks i have his back.

  • though he be but little, he is fierce …

  • Awwww!!!

    Okay I’ve never said anything about all the people trying to be first, but this morning as I’m reading, I’m reminded of my kid and his friends at the bus stop. Fortunately, at Dooce, you can’t get hit by a bus if you are scrambling for first. 😛
    Have a great day all!

  • There’s nothing like two dogs giving you live Discovery Channel action in the yard. Awesome!

  • shhhhhh, blog commenting from work.

    I was cracking up (as quietly as possible)! Your link was not just on there…it was first.

    ha ha ha.

  • beachgal

    Live Discovery Channel action….that’s funny!

  • Dazed & Confuzed

    Hey! I’ve seen this movie! Isn’t this the scene where the family dog whomps the ass of the evil Cujo-ish interloper and saves little Billy from being sold on the black market and they all go out for dinner to celebrate and later, the Cujo-ish interloper becomes friends with the family dog (we’ll call him “Chuck”) and everyone lives happily ever after until the sequel? Or maybe I was thinking of an episode of “Seventh Heaven”. Anyway, Go, Dog, Go!

  • Photography/Photoshop enthusiasts, check this out….I thought this was neat.

  • RazDreams

    (If you put quotes ” ” around “Avon World Sales Leader” in Google, you just get entries related to Dooce and her mom [and people quoting Dooce].)

  • whoa, nice chuck go bye-bye – he’s got the ‘whites of eyes showing crazy dog’ look.

    Bet he won.

    Oh and raisins is nothing, wait until she passes a WHOLE dried apricot. (no, i did NOT give my kid dried apricots whole. honest)

  • Oh Puppy play dates are the best. My two dogs do this all the time.

  • That dog has a scruffy beard. It is an untrimmed bush.

  • Awww, is she his lobster?

  • I absolutely love that you ranked higher than the actual Avon site. “Oops” indeed!

    Wonderful photo of Chuck once again.

  • The black dog looks like he’s thinking, “Uh, son…I don’t want to have to cut you…”.

    Dooce- You are sooo gonna be grounded.

    Morning Mows- I hope you actually get to eat some food today, instead of just crumbs from that baby.

  • GO CHUCK! GO CHUCK! GO CHUCK! Kick his ass!

  • hp

    Chuck is a stud!

    since we all know that dog is
    GOD spelled backwards, I wanted to know if GOD had checked in today. I wanted to ask if he was still mad about that little incident I spoke about with him.

  • chuck as tom cruise… i love it. who’s iceman?

  • I thought the thumbnail was a n xray of someone’s bone. Hee. Hee. Bone.

  • Look at those eyes! He looks completely under the spell of his ancestors and reverting to ‘cave-dog’!

  • Tiff

    Chuck’s whispering to the other dog ‘dude – it’s step kick, step kick, RIGHT turn — now get offa my paw!’

  • You go get em’ Chuck! Make that dog your bitch!

    And I just have to laugh at Mouse, he says some funny stuff! Oh! And if I met your mom I would totally pretend not to know who she was just so your cover wouldn’t be blown. She doesn’t know what google is does she?

  • Tracy

    Looks like one former Congressman has a bit of a Napoleon complex…

    That other dog should be advised that Sam Elliott called, and he wants his damned moustache back.

  • anna

    I actually haven’t seen that movie yet.

  • Elegant Goose

    ACK!!! I had to share this- I’m teaching eighth grade and I have less than 1/2 an hour to each lunch – I usually spend it scarfing something and helping kids with their English. Well, I was so distracted just now while I was eating a pear that I ATE THE STICKER ON THE PEAR!!! The little sticker they put on fruit in the produce section?!!! I ATE that!

    Maybe I should ask the science teacher or school nurse if produce stickers can kill…

    Thought ya’ll might enjoy a laugh.

  • Someone’s eating lunch? At 8:30?

  • Shizzy – it’s 10:30 here in CST and 11:30 in the Eastern US.

    (PS, that’s how the Army “gets more done before 9am than most people do all day.” They rely on time zone differences.)

  • (Though I don’t know if Chuck was trying to be a Usurper)I know how that black dog feels by the expression on his face.

    I had the same expression on my face this morning when, after I got up to give up a seat to an beautiful older lady with a bumble bee brooch and a cane, a 17 year old snot rushed in to take the seat.

    I put my foot out to gesture that said snot could not pass by me while giving her a look that threw The Girl.A Ninja Perma-Block on her ass.

    I am not too sure about my super powas yet. I either made her think about the crime of stealing the seats from the elderly on the T, or gave her a bad case of constipation.

  • elegant goose, it will just stick on to something else. you will see it in a day or two.

  • hp

    Does anyone know what your dog and your farts have in common?

    They both smell bad to everyone but you.

  • I do the same thing to my grandmother that sells AMWAY. She’s done it since Jesus was a boy.

    What the hell could I possibly reveal? That they are getting rid of SA-8 and replacing it with a NEW detergent of greatness?

  • debbie

    is it okay to use this space to comment on the raisin poop and not the doggie photo?? i try not to get too into dogs now that i know my 4 year old is allergic–damn him! heh. anyway, awesome poop story along the lines of your raisin anecdote:

    my friend jonas was changing his baby girl’s poopy diaper the other day and after he wipes away the muck, sees that a little bit of red pepper is poking out of her booty (yes, we call it “booty” in our house). he tries to wipe it, but it’s not happening. he pulls at it and a wholly undigested 2″ strip of red pepper slides out! i laughed my ass off when i heard this, but maybe only a parent can appreciate such a disgusting story. lesson learned: give the kid veggies but, for god’s sake, cut them into smaller pieces!


    Haha.. I love those. What I especially enjoyed was the ladybug turtle. I am not admitting that within recent history, I painted a turtle’s shell like a ladybug. Nosiree, not admitting that at all.

  • hp

    Dooce, you changed the paypal message. Didn’t it say something about a never ending river yesterday?

  • Anonymous

    Wait, I work AT Avon, and I’m not aware of the Avon secrets? There are secrets?? Damn, I’m not on the right distribution lists…

  • La Pixiatrix

    Dooce, let’s hope the World Avon Sales Leader doesn’t spice up your sunday dinner. Or maybe she should, and make you an Ice Cream Sunday with ExLax…

  • I can’t even begin to tell you the disgustingness of an 18-month olds diaper. Instead of raisins, we’ve done the dried cranberries, whole peas, apple chunks. I could go on for days but I’ll spare you and your readers.

  • You mean it’s not 8:30 everywhere?



  • JP

    Is that Chuck with your brother’s dog? That’s a cool picture….good doggy memories.

    Warm wishes…

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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