An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Scrumptious Bearded Armstrong as reflected in the switchplate of our bedroom in LA one week before we left for Utah

  • Metro, you look good with facial hair.

  • One of these days, I would really like to come to this site and find that the first comment is not…

    first? or
    FIRST! or
    Yipee! First!

    Who the hell cares?

  • Ladybug, I have images of this woman speaking in a gravelly Gollum voice saying “Just call me prehhhh-cious”

    too freakin hilarious.

  • yeah.i didn’t wanna admit i thought of norm too.
    but least he’s a metrosexual norm abrams!

  • Squish – it’s gone.

  • I like it when it says First!? and they are tenth woohoo

  • Yup. My favorite is when the first 10-15 posts all say “FIRST!” or even better, “SECOND!

    Bandwidth leaches.

  • i always wanted my bedroom to be that color …mmm…

  • I like the photo, John is cool.

    I also added a Mr. to the front of my blog name since everyone else seems to have gotten so formal lately- what is with that?

  • Cristina

    “hot forks of displeasure”
    I love this
    I have a new one for you–
    “with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns”
    as in “I hate Paris Hilton with the white hot intensity…”

  • Your “National Public Nightmare” post absolutely cracked me up. Seriously. I’m sitting at my desk, laughing out loud, and being ever-so-thankful everyone else is gone to lunch.
    It just sounds like…like Leta was being so darned CUTE. I can just picture the whole scene. And personally, I’m a big fan of baby babble.
    Thanks for the giggles, Dooce.

  • Erika D

    What time does the interview air? Is it on 90.1? I’ll try and tune in

  • Danika

    After reading todays story I just want to give you a big I LOVE YOU HUG! (but not in a weird internet stalker way but a friendly your too cool kinda way)

    Is there a link to the station we can hear the interview on?

  • I’d love to hear the interview, too! When? Where? How? Tell us!

    That was a great story, Heather, seriously. You had me smiling from ear to ear — I’ve been in similar situations.

    Oh, and Closet Metro — don’t you mean Norm F. Abrams? 🙂

  • Shit! I’m late for school, and I want to listen to your interview. Once again: What time? I don’t suppose anyone knows the frequency for NPR in St. Louis? I’m thinking lower nineties, but I don’t have time to look it up… GAH!

  • That post ROCKED! I was so laughing. I only give my baby 1 toy at a time, then when she gets pissed at that one I give her the next.

    But seriously, wouldn’t the kan sa kwences have been worse if she screamed instead of sounded cute as hell? I hope you tape that radio clip.
    I wanna hear it tooo (whiney voice)

  • pea

    It says that audio for today’s show will be available around 3pm. 🙂

  • pea

    So tomorrow’s should be available around that time tomorrow, I meant to say.

  • ashik

    This is the sad news I got today from the npr website:
    “There are no stations in District of Columbia that carry Day to Day”

    I can still get it online, yes? Otherwise, my stalking-dooce-in-various-media-ways-plan will be FOILED. Help!

  • Kari

    Who knew you’d be the type for red velour walls?


  • ashik

    Oh, and yes, I clicked on the link kindly provided by pea and that’s where I got the tragic information.

  • Jackie

    I miss seeing pictures of Leta.

  • Erika D

    Well, the station that plays Day to Day in Salt Lake is KCPW…so, it looks like it will be on tomorrow between 1 and 2 pm MST and you can listen live at:

  • becaru

    National Public Nightmare made me laugh so hard…thanks for sharing.
    Go Leta, go!

  • Katie

    I hope I hear Leta noises during the interview!

    Whoa, GEORGE! has his own blog? And I haven’t figured this out until now? (until I clicked on Chloe’s blog, that is…)

  • Augh! How fun! You don’t even notice the light switch at first.

  • He looks like he has a hole in his head.

  • So if it is 1 pm MST and a tree falls in the forest, what time will I hear it in NY?

  • this photo is phenomenal. seriously. i’d love to have an enlarged print to hang on my wall.

  • NPR is usually 88.9- it airs tommorow? How exciting! I am a dork!

  • oh, please, please, please let there be some kind, tech-savvy type who will record Dooce on NPR, and then post it on the interweb for those of us who are stuck at work in DC. without working speakers. or Day to Day for that matter. 🙂

    if i don’t get to hear the goldfish explosion and the costco-card devastation, i’m going to feel hot forks of displeasure EVERYWHERE.

  • Mrs.Strizzay,
    Because I myself am time-zone-smarts-challenged… check here:;amp;low=6&sort=0&continent=namerica

  • Danika

    I am currently on Mountain time and it is 1pm. Pacific time its 12pm and Central time it is 2pm. So listen at this time tomorrow 😀

    Thanks to Erika D for posting the link where I can hear Day to Day!!

  • Now that is art!

  • Erika D

    Danika, I just hope the link works!!

  • Kathy

    What?!?! Dooce does not have a cell phone? Wow!!

  • stalking-dooce-in-various-media-ways-plan … too funny. i was thinking the exact same thing about how i’m quite excited to listen to a radio spot of someone i’ve never met.

    i bet heatherbarmstrong andthisismywebsite has a sultry voice.

  • Rebeka

    Nice shot – very creative. I think Jon looks a lot better without the beard, but that’s me…

  • Dooce–

    Too funny about the inteview! I’ll look for it (listen for it) tomorrow. They can do a lot with editing these days on NPR, heard a story about it on “On the Media”

    Cool for you, and I shouldn’t be laughing out loud (or checking your site so much) as I just started back to work full time after maternity leave.

    BTW, I am screwed. I have no idea how I’m going to do this. My brain doesn’t work any more.

  • Oh man, Dooce on the radio! And I’m going to miss it 🙁

    Hmm does the fact that I’m seriously considering changing my OB-GYN appt. so I can hear the broadcast mean I’m going straight to hell? I’m mean it’s not really a big deal right? I can always find out if I’m pregnant another day, the little meatloaf could handle waiting an extra 24 hours.

  • I think we are all sick and lack hobbies. That being said I bet Dooce sounds like my friend Alice- slight southern accent when she’s relaxed, and then like a little redneck monkey when she’s annoyed or anxious.

    (high pitched tone) Ama-yen-dah, stop turnin’ dah-un tha ther-mo-stayat!

  • Danika

    Erika D I tested the link already and unless something goes wrong from now till its on tomorrow it will work for me! YAY!

  • hey, maybe we can listen from the website of or the local affiliate station, if it has a website?
    and about mother of the year? oh,phooey! at least you’re going to be on NPR!! i just squeezed pus out of my 4 week-old’s ingrown toenail, and even though he was not loving it, i kind of was.
    i am certainly never getting mother of the year.

  • Anita — welcome to the other side.

    There will be days when all you want to do is cuddle with your monkey(ies) and be a stay at home Mom. There will also be days when dropping the monkey(ies) off at daycare and going off to work seems a little easier.

    There will be days when you have a fully functioning brain, and days when you’re lucky if you have ONE fully functioning brain CELL.

    I wish I could tell you it gets better over time, but I don’t like to lie to people I’ve only “met” on the internet…

  • Colleen from NJ — how does a four week old get an ingrown toenail? I’ve had them, but I was nearly into middle school when I got them.
    The whole pus thing was pretty disgusting, yet satisfying at the same time.

  • Last? Am I last?

  • Thanks, Circus Kelli.

    Uh, actually, waaaaaaaaah.

  • i’m with rebeka. not much into the whole geard thing myself. which is of course of no consequence to you. i mean, YOUR husband needn’t go and shave on MY account. gosh, it’d be almost weird if he did do it on MY account, don’t you think?

  • Heh, Anita… Yeah, it’s a lot like that. 🙂

    Let’s see, there’s
    Momday, I mean Monday
    Toohardtoleaveday, I mean Tuesday,
    Waahhday, I mean Wednesday,
    (so)Throughwiththisday, I mean Thursday, and finally

  • jes

    your stories are so funny. it’s hard for me to suppress my laughing while i’m reading at work. sometimes i think i might get dooced just for VISITING your site. anxious to hear your blubbering tomorrow. when does it air?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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