the smell of my desperation has become a stench


(Today’s usually longer Daily entry is brought to you by Seagram’s Gin. I will tell you the WHOLE story tomorrow, and believe me, it’s a good one.)

While bathing Leta Jon and I were talking about the names of her grandparents, specifically my mother and his mother, Grandmommie and Grandma respectively. He kept coaxing Leta into referring to me as Mother, and I felt a REALLY strong objection to that. I want her to call me Mama, or Mommie, just like my mother wants to be referred to as Grandmommie rather than Granny, for OBVIOUS reasons.

He asked, “So what are you going to be called when you are a grandmother?”

I answered, “I dunno, certainly not ‘Grandma.'”

And he said, “They’re going to call you, ‘Crotchety Old Hag.'”

And I responded, “Yeah, well then they’ll call you, ‘Crotchety Old Hag’s Bitch.'”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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