Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

ABC, easy as 123

UPDATE: The piece will run TONIGHT on ABC World News.

Right now they are filming me writing on my website and I feel like such a dork. I am a dork. Dork dork dork. Dork. And I feel like such a dork. Catiptla D Ork . I think he is doing a close-up and I’m a little sweaty. I am probably shiny right now. Shiny and Such a dork. Dork . Dork. I wonder if he can tell that I am typing Dork Dork Dork Dokrmoroimkruoiiujrrfjj. And guess what? My sister just showed up with her twin boys. THE MONSTERS ARE HERE.

So he just got a close-up of me typing and I never took typing in high school so I’m pecking. Peck peck peck with three of my fingers. And now my fingers are sweating. I am singing DORK in my head. I so hope that he gets me typing dork and they show it on television beacuse that would be very neat. Dork. That’s all I can think of. How big of a dork can I be. Dork. Dork.

Dork and Mindy. Donald Dork. Dork Dork Goose.

Now he is panning down to see my fingers typing. Will he see D O R K. That I am one? A HUGE ONE. ALL CAPS. BABY. DO YOU HEAR ME NOW, JASON?

And so I will continue to dork beacuse he needs more footage. This is real time dorking.

He totally just filmed me typing dork.

Knock knock. Who’s there?

DORK.

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