An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The Monsters

  • Dang cold..

    LOL Autocomplete…

    I know it isn’t fool proof and I honestly never gave thought to it working or not. like. kind’ve like a nervous twitch. I always check my stove to make sure its off even though I seldom use it. I dont know why I just do.

  • Dang cold..

    conjucle? is that like genital warts or something?

  • Dang cold.

    if it is then thank goodness no. The sniffles visit once in a while. so does headache.

  • You could try turning on Auto-complete

    jp, just didn’t want someone here who isn’t technical to falsely believe that by not using autocomplete they are somehow hiding their internet activity. As was implied. That’s all.

    You can use autocomplete and you can delete all or some entries if you are worried about it.

    Delete all AutoComplete entries and remembered Username/passwords by:
    1. click on the ‘Tools’ menu then the ‘Internet Options’ option.
    2. click on the ‘Content’ tab.
    3. click on the ‘AutoComplete’ button.
    4. click on the ‘Clear Forms’ and ‘Clear Passwords’

    Peace out.

  • jp

    Dang do you get conjucle visits?

  • Dang cold..

    Well at least I get refered to as sugar lumps, that poor woman your married to gets called warmth!


    You make me laugh JP…thanks 🙂

  • JP

    I know thats why your cold, and thats why I am slow…..or drunk.

  • jp

    You could try, are we having a meeting I was not aware of? Is all the Dork speak so we don’t get fired?

  • Dang cold..

    I’m in the IT group here. I’m aware of “the server”. No reason to be suspicious per se I’m just new here is all. Keeping an eye out til the 3 month probationary period is over. Then bring on the benefits.

  • You could try turning on Auto-complete

    It’s possible to delete an individual entry which AutoComplete has remembered for you in an IE form, like Dooce comment name, email and url fields rather than clearing the whole lot.

    This also works for incorrect entries.

    To do so, double-click inside the text-field you want to remove the cached entry from. This will bring up a list of all entries for this text-field. Simply point to the one you want to remove and press the delete key.

    Note: This doesn’t appear to work for the AutoComplete feature in the address bar.

  • Dang irresponsible of the landlord.

  • jp

    Well at least I get refered to as sugar lumps, that poor woman your married to gets called warmth!

  • Dang cold..

    Not this winter but last winter my mouth breathing landlord wrote a bad check to the power company and “click”. I saw warmth pack her bags and leave me high and dry. Never did sue the dumb lump of clay…

  • You could try turning on Auto-complete

    It’s not like there isn’t a server log tracking every hit from your machine and your network login.

    Unless you are logged in from home using your own ISP.

  • Yeah, well, Amanda B., guess what? Ol’ Hank couldn’t spell any better than your hoohoo can! (“Whan that april with his shoures soote…” Say what?)

  • Dang cold..

    Dang tootin!!!

  • Moose- well i remember a lot of it. but i can’t spell any of it. would have to cheat.

    Girl A.- hoho? Nope, i need more money for that.


  • jp

    Dang, is that why your cold? Did your electricity get turned off? Do you need to snuggle with the Dutchess? I like chicken.

  • Win

    Good Lord,even the monsters in your life are cute. Too cute.

    Let’s see, you’re cute. You got a cute husband, cute kid, cute dog, cute George.

    I think you got more than your quota of cute in this world, Dooce.

    That means someone out there is walking around with a completely un-cute life.

    Oh God, you don’t think it’s me, do you?

  • Dang Careful.

  • Katie – Western Central, south of Abilene. I’m from Maryland; we’re here with the military (but heading to Alaska in May).

    My daughter is trying to ride her alphabet pal. I think it’s time for me to go and read her a story.

  • Go fuck yourself you hairy-assed monkey!

    Wait… ummm

  • If I could, I so totally would, Girl.A

  • Dang cold..

    You could try turning on Auto-complete

    its a work laptop and I’m paranoid, okay?? I’m a tech guy and I once worked at a company where a manager asked me to give him permission to view the mailbox of one of his subordinates that he suspected was screwing the pooch on the job and he asked me to do a dialing summary of who he was calling on this work phone..

    I’ve been watchful ever since.. clear IE cache enough and format this C drive once in a while too.

  • Girl.A

    *monkey touching himself at thought of Girl.A in stilettos*


  • Jp

    I am watching the news I could swear that is what Prince Carles’ new wife wants to be called.

  • amanda B:

    *from behind gag*

  • Hey, we got the Dooce of Dorks and now the Dutchess of Cornhole. I’m gonna have to go get me a ball gown.

  • Dang cold..

    thank god for that vodka..even though I got paid yesterday I’m still so poor I go to KFC to lick other peoples fingers 🙁

    Bills man….can’t electricity be free??

  • JP

    Ok peeps I am officially changing my name to Dutchess of Cornhole.

  • You could try turning on Auto-complete

    Dang Cold..
    Afterward, it will remember your stuff after you type in the first letter.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Don’t know of San Angelo. I live in Houston (Pennsylvania native). Texas Rocks, Ya’all! (I love to say ya’all!)

  • Dang cold…

    (small c)

    I’m jivin’ JP. You a little freaky deaky you is.

  • Katie – SaNangelo (and still scrolling up to catch up)

  • Amanda B, I think I can only remember the first four lines. Can your hoohoo go beyond that?

  • jp

    Hiyah! Dang, I am so a girl, besides what does it matter what gender I am? If I can give you a third leg, then is’nt that what its all about?

  • The whole Prologue? Really Amanda B.? I’m impressed. My hoohoo was never much on memorizing, but she really seemed to enjoy Milton and the Cavaliers.

  • Dang Cold..

    also notice the small “c” capital “C” fluctuation

  • Man, no wonder you haven’t hit “remember me.” I’m so glad I’m not in a cubicle.

  • Yes, I like to call it the “6 Figure Book Deal” hoohoo.

    winkwink nudgenudge

  • Wait, Amanda, I thought you only get 6 figures if you take it up the hoho.

  • Monkey, I am not a shemale.

    Be careful or you may get a high heel spiked in your monkey eye.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Cathi – another Texas girl!!! Where do you live in good old Tejas?

  • Amanda B, that’s be an eloquent hoohoo.

  • Dang cold..

    I never did put the “remember me” radio button on “yes”. 2 dots or 3 depends on who’s walking by my desk or if I’m distracted by a phone call. I’ve got this shit head that sits in the cubicle next to me and he has perfect view of my monitor. always asking “whats that website I’m looking at” do you think that a firm, life ending, open hand chop to his adams apple might send a message that he can mind his own business????

  • Iambic Pentameter? That’s one talented Hoo Hoo?

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Okay, poo-poo. No poo-poo on your hoo-hoo. Yes, Tammy. These are important lessons us women must pass on to the next generation.

  • jp

    Have you not been paying attention, I have a crush on Dang. And I am just kidding with him, I say bust out the drink and be marry.

  • Dang cold, how come you sometimes gots two dots and sometimes you gots three?

  • Monkey:

    Cathi-my hoohoo and my monkey are seperate in nature. Dooce owes me one monkey. My hoohoo can recite the Prolouge to the Canterbury Tales.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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