Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Phone War

  • That photo is very, very cool. As is the new design. ROCK. ON.

  • mg2

    PINK PANTY BELLY RUBS?! Uppercase GOD, you’ve finally heard my prayers.

  • Sarah M

    You have Victorias secret! I am so jealous. We have no such thing over here in Australia and it saddens me greatly. *loves VS*
    Like the new b/g too btw.

  • I seriously think everyone has one of these photos in their cell phone. It’s like back in the early 90’s, where EVERY family who had a video camera had footage of that dad filming another video camera dad, and they’re laughing about how clever they are. Heh.

  • max

    Looks like it a site of guys who making money showing they “underwear”.
    In our they they want be fired, just bitted and I think with legs to.

  • Someone prolly wrote this above but: Don’t give anyone your cell phone number. I don’t. And don’t call anyone else’s cell phone. That’s how my parents got my number.

  • copy_kitty

    Heather:

    Your new flag was fabu! (It’s back to the old one on my screen—technical problems, I imagine.)

    And “DORK” is like an exclamation point at the end of your page.

    Yes!

  • Henryk_ Sun@1802Sydney time

    Midnigh……the witching hourrrrrrrrr

  • copy_kitty

    Dang Cold.. (still two dots):

    You know, I am a Neil Young fan.

  • Henryk_ Sun@1802Sydney time

    ……….still searching for that heart of gold????

  • I wonder how many panty puppies Dooce is going to end up with by the end of this month? I guess six.

  • Dang Cold..

    Southern Man – Neil Young

    Southern man
    better keep your head
    Don’t forget
    what your good book said
    Southern change
    gonna come at last
    Now your crosses
    are burning fast
    Southern man

    I saw cotton
    and I saw black
    Tall white mansions
    and little shacks.
    Southern man
    when will you
    pay them back?
    I heard screamin’
    and bullwhips cracking
    How long? How long?

    Southern man
    better keep your head
    Don’t forget
    what your good book said
    Southern change
    gonna come at last
    Now your crosses
    are burning fast
    Southern man

    Lily Belle,
    your hair is golden brown
    I’ve seen your black man
    comin’ round
    Swear by God
    I’m gonna cut him down!
    I heard screamin’
    and bullwhips cracking
    How long? How long?

  • WTF between three camera whores no picture of the panty puppy? (That wasn’t an insult. sheesh. Why is it that all smart ass friendly remarks have to be noted as such?)

  • Em

    My what a noir new masthead you have. Sexy!

  • Andrea in Canada

    Ada is from Victoria as well! Where has she gone? We emailed each other once.

  • Andrea in Canada

    Next time take the panty puppy but run like heck when you see the A1 Steak Sauce coming out of the refridgerator. JUST GET OUTTA THERE!

  • THE MIGHTY JIMBO! good to see you! looks like your trip is going well. those were some awesome glacier pics, dude.

  • Andrea in Canada

    Wendy, I know there is one other for sure and a girlfriend of mine reads the site and has posted once and she is also in Victoria….*Shan in Victoria*. There are *DEECE* out there! LOL

    Oh Heather, what have you done? YOu have created DEECE!!

  • Andrea in Canada

    Oh ….NEW masthead! (is that what it’s called?) Great job! Your eyes?

    Me: the wanna be blogger because I love to write but too nervous to even know where to start….

  • rockandrollchick

    Oh boy, did I need a laugh tonight (or a cry), and you delivered Heather. I have 28 kids coming for a 7th birthday party tomorrow and this just de-stressed me for a second. Thanks.

  • cottoncandygirl1

    a very big part of me wants you to have that pink pup at VS. I’ll have to see if they have one on display at the store near me.

  • Dang Cold,

    How about Wigwam? No words, yeah!

  • wendyinBC

    Andrea In Canada –
    I’m in Vancouver!! I wonder if there’s a lot of Canadian Dooce fans…(two or more would be Canadian Deece??).mmwhahaha..um..hello..is this thing on??

  • Dang Cold..

    Spuriousplum

    thats a bob dylan tune 😛

  • Rachael

    Has anyone else clicked on the ‘Stick your nose in’ google ad (right underneath the ‘fart machine’ ad)? Those things are – ahem – an interesting look.

  • Caroline

    I totally would’ve taken the panty puppy.

  • Dang Cold..

    *huge gulp of vodka*

    another neil young tune anyone?

  • Personally I want to see a masthead that mimics those project runway people. Like the scary one with crazy hair and blue eyeshadow. Wendy? Have Beth make you up to look just like her and do the damn thang.

  • woman lover

    Dear Dang Cold

    Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Thank you very much.

    As to dooce and anal sex, why would she even mention that if she wasn’t. The hint is way to strong to conclude that she does not engage in it.

  • Shouldn’t it be Doorc?

  • Cristin

    fantastic

  • how retarded am I, that it took me forever to get the masthead?

  • copy_kitty

    On the subject of cell phones.

    My husband and I only use cell phones. And only to talk. I’ve become EXTREMELY attached to my b+w screen, no camera, etc.

    It’s a phone, and I want to TALK on it.

    (We both have laptops, so we can Wi-Fi in most places these days. Plus, we own our own advertising agency, and have never received an email that actually constituted a life-threatening emergency.)

    But I can see the writing on the wall. My next phone is going to be all crazy. Full o’ useless features. And maybe even able to SEND ME MESSAGES BASED ON MY LOCATION.

    Big Brother, anyone?

    Did I mention that I just want to talk on the damn thing?!

    sigh

  • nice! love the red and black

  • I love the new masthead and colors..red adn black suit you lol….

  • copy_kitty

    Dang Cold.. (two dots tonight) and La Pixiatrix:

    What am I missing? I refreshed the dooce.com home page? New masthead?!

  • AWESOME stark new masthead – and the footer *DORK* is classic.

  • Sweet lactatin’ mother Mary, I go away for a couple of days, and this place goes all “A-1 bottle up the ass” without me?

    Now I want a steak salad.

  • Dang Cold..

    mary and joseph what just happened!?!?!?

  • Jenn

    Weird! Two of the girls and work and I had the funnest camera phone war today. We were laughing so hard. Then we realized we were acting queer and stopped. We’re easily amused.

  • phones with cameras. whatever happened to just using them to talk?

    (the voice of my inlaws said that)

  • copy_kitty

    And to Terri:

    So very sorry to hear about your dad. Don’t be afraid to crumple up into a little ball for as long as you need to — this is not the time to “be strong.” It’s a huge loss. And your dad must have been an AMAZING man, given his full and accomplished life.


  • copy_kitty

    jensplace:

    OH! That threading. I’ve heard that’s a really old way to remove unwanted body hair used by all sorts of ancient cultures.

    The fact that I thought it was some freakish body mod ritual tells you something about me and my twisted mind, eh?

  • Henryk_ Sun@1146AMSydney time

    If this is an example of the quality of phone pics…………forget it!

  • I like this photo, but then I like grainy photos, not more than crystal clear photos – but they are interesting images anyway.

    I like a little mystery. Photos that are taken with the same amount of clarity, from the same perspective with the same amount of detail don’t have the same allure. One of my favorite cameras to this day is the 12 dollar polaroid 600 land camera I bought in 1984.

    Art can be lots of different things to different people. A grainy photo may be more evocative of a memory or feeling than one that’s crystal clear.

  • Andrea in Canada

    Terri

    Very sorry to hear about your dad. You are in my thoughts today.

  • Meat L.

    Praying for the end of time, that’s all that I can do (hoo hoo), praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you . . .

  • Susie

    Terri, so sorry. You’re right, your daddy was a looker, and so accomplished, too. I hope you’re OK. Peace to you.

  • Dang Cold..

    I solute you Madame….

  • Becky

    Are you sure it’s Beth? It looks like Meatloaf. I can almost see paradise by the dashboard light…

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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