An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Self portrait Wednesday is in da house

  • I guess the no alcohol is for the better though, considering I’m bf my new baby.

    Guess I’ll have to wait just a tid longer to try that.

  • This is the best party I’ve been to in many a moon — take that cue if you like — but I’m old, it’s past my bedtime, and I’m weaseling out before the scooching on the floor begins.

    Besides, Jim’s in the other room lookin’ mighty manly.

    Make a circle of garlic and poop to keep the trollses out. Night night.

  • Sounds nummy. I have the root beer. No vodka though.


  • CK- your cuteness has made the skirry clowns go away. Whew…

  • I do see the orange shredded cheese sticking out, yes

  • Circus Kelli,

    How did you take that pic? It’s neat.

  • Kelli – yur purty!

  • copy_kitty

    Here’s a cocktail for movie nights at home:

    1 to 2 ounces vanilla vodka
    8 ounces of rootbeer.

    Pour over ice. Stir and drink through a straw.

    Serving suggestion: with popcorn!

  • CK you doll

  • Sure, I’ll take ‘un.

  • It does look like a taco!

  • Renae

    Okay, so the thumbnail…looked like a taco to me.
    A TACO.
    I guess I should have some dinner.

    Oh, and I hope I look as good as you when my baby turns 1. Wow. 🙂

  • My turn to broughten? brang? be brangin?

    Here’s my pic…

  • ok, lots of things make me think of Girl.A. But A1 bottles scare me now, thanks to Dooce.

  • Spoonmaster,
    Are you spelunking right now?
    You multitasker!

  • copy_kitty

    Hey, hot mints:

    Do y’all need to get a room?

  • I can’t touch Girl.A without thinking about altoids.

  • “touch the altoids”

  • Metro- are altoids the only thing you can’t touch w/o thinking of Girl A?

  • I can’t touch the altoids anymore without thinking of you Girl.A.

  • I’ll bring the beer. I won’t drink any, of course, I think it tastes nasty.

    Anyone got any flavorful drinks?

  • amber I got boot camped on cosmo’s yesterday.. you want one?

  • copy_kitty

    Relentless Christian Amber:

    Of course! In fact, you are a regular.

  • yes I’m blonde

    No, Dang, I wasn’t asking for your hand to touch that A1!

    Any Marlon Brando butter on that table too? Coz we’ll need it…

  • copy_kitty



    Can we get some new condiments in here?!

  • sorry dang – no sense of humor when sick… and on top of this preparing for The Parents coming tomorrow.

  • holy shit – did i just hear that a fawnzelle made it on “american idol”?

  • heineken is where its at..

  • i knew cathi 🙂 I was just being a funny man

  • Girl.A — that’s FRESH, gurl.

  • I missed something. A party?

    Can I join?

  • copy_kitty

    Dang Cold.. :


    Shiner for you. My husband has some Heineken, too. If you’d prefer.

  • my bare naked hand will never touch an A1 bottle here at dooce-gri-la ball room. that is all.

  • new – nah – remember the squealing chasing baby? just away today nursing one malady or another and trying to get some work done. there’s no way i’m going to try to catch up on all these posts… summary anyone?

  • Bucky, I’m not into cursing at people or shaming them…

    plus, sometimes it’s my own snail trail.

    Hey I am thinking of using a certain partially dissolved altoid for my self portrait – the official one. What do you think, BFE?

  • I agree, Dang Cold.

    But I have to say if this were a face to face thing, that paying attention would make a difference. I’m sure most of us would all pitch in and kick their ass.

    And why can’t people realize that kids are UNIQUE. Yeah, there is an average time in which a kid learns things, but that’s just an average.

    I know someone that didn’t learn to read or write until they were 7, and they ended up being pretty darn successful in life, writing articles for magazines and newspapers.

    Seriously, people just need to stop giving assvice. Especially anonymously. They are scared and obviously immature. Don’t worry about them.

  • copy_kitty I’ll try yours if you try mine 🙂

    *dang cold opens bottle; sssssssttt*

  • copy_kitty

    Dang Cold.. :

    Shiner Bock = nectar of the gods

    In Texas.

  • yes I’m blonde

    Is there any A1 sauce on that table?

  • what?? Cathi are you new??

  • Victoria – there is a collection box in the corner.

  • moosehead = beer like manna from heaven

  • Girl A.- I *KNOW* you didn’t…

  • moosehead from eastern canada coming through lookout…

  • refreshment table and dancing? is this a party?

  • yes I’m blonde

    Any Stella Artois?

  • victoria

    Heather, I’m sorry that your generosity in posting your wonderful writing, for free, is sometimes rewarded by comments that make you feel awful. It’s not fair.

  • copy_kitty

    I have plenty of beer for everyone! Shiner Bock? Yes? Yes?

  • RazDreams

    mish (#218): i’ve been off the pill since last april after *15 years* of taking it non-stop without missing a single day (i’m only 32 now), and my periods are the exact same as being on the pill and come at just about the exact same time. be not afraid of what the pillnaysayers say. it may not be that bad for you.

  • scootching across the floor is fine when your doing russian folk dancing or reaching under the couch to grab that almond you dropped which you really wanted

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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