An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Snowboards in love

  • #1!!!!!!!!

  • And Chow Yun-Fat is looking for that board, btw.

  • Marcia


  • eileen

    heavy snowboards need love too.
    no ways..

  • eve

    too cute

  • and i guess the name of your board is “redneck” (almost)? =P

    glad you had fun snowboarding.

  • Mary

    Top 10?

  • Grammar freak

    You spelt ‘weighs’ wrong.

  • diippi

    Cmon dooce…tell us why you are posting pictures at such odd times ! or is it automated ??

  • daveeee

    yay top 10 post?!?
    cool photos, makes me wanna go back to switzerland

  • K.

    I have to say that I’ve never commented here before, but, given that I may be #11, I just couldn’t resist. Dooce, I absolutely adore your site and have for ages. It’s one of the best reads on the net. You’ve made my day more times than I can recall, so thank you.

  • Snowboarding–what a fun way to commit suicide! I lasted 5 minutes on a snowboard this winter.

  • sim

    12! yippee

  • Sharon

    I was also wondering whether you were automating the posting, or whether you found something else to do in the middle of the night.

  • Petezilla, perfect. Laughed out loud, and that’s not easy at this hour.

    Glad you had fun, heather. Have you had trouble sleeping lately? Or are you up with Leta?

    Just a faithful reader fretting over you.

  • koof

    does grammar freak know it should be “spelled”?

  • koof

    it’s okay, though, grammar freak, my grandma probably says spelt, too…of course, she also says chimbley…

  • i had no idea snowboards were so heavy. cool pic.

  • they look small. what was the other board called??

  • minxlj

    “The Green Destiny”
    Sounds like a comic!!

  • Gia

    Weight.. girth… with men it is aLwAyS about the size!


  • Amy

    Dearest Jon and Heather B.,
    Holy CArP!!!
    That’s a HELLOVA lot of poundage!!
    Never woulda known..and I was just telling someone today; I might try snowboarding sometime…
    Haa..FAT CHANCE, pardon mon francois..or is that vishey-cois?..

    Man..I can spell like a mo fo…that’s fo dayamn sure!

    Sweet Jesu and Jam…
    I’m just outta hospital..for “overnight leave” or ‘something like that’>†.. me having “the mania” and all…I’m sure you can relate..

    SO GOOD to be back..even if just for the night…a few precious hours to wile away now.
    I could swear that the pic on your site is me..but ya know..this is YOUR website..not mine..haa..I’m such a loser…or am I?
    In your dreams. Or or the(o)se mine?
    XO to the babe, the pup and the Avon ‘world sales leader’>†..etc.

    p.s. pass that on to claire, danny, penelope and the gang!! Even though you DO NOT ..I repeat, DO NOT, know me from a bar of dark chocolate. 😀

    p.s.s. Hi to Uppercase GOD!!!..I got yo back if you got mine!..
    Oh was there all the time! rock..rawrrrrrrr!

    All my love,

  • odd that the timing of pictures appearing on dooce is awful for some. it’s nearly lunchtime here, so it’s not a problem at all.

  • I remember trying to use a guy’s wake board and it too weighed 400 pounds. Instead of skimming the waves behind the boat I was dragged under by the weight of the board.

  • Ha Ha–don’t they all weigh a TON?

    First time “commenting”….thanks for sharing all that you do, and bringing a smile to my face daily as I walk through this crazy life of mothering– a little less alone!

  • Grammar freak

    Grammar freak knows his dicionary says ‘spelled’ or ‘spelt’.

  • Goose

    Is a guy’s shoe size and peensip also related to the poundage of his snowboard? As long as you don’t mix them up and call his peensip “Green Destiny”.

    Very cute pic, by the way

  • Grammar freak

    ‘Cute pic?’ It’s two snowboards. Sheesh. I have enough respect for the author not to kiss ass like that.

  • I love the colors and the shadows in this one! Very cool.

  • Grammar freak

    Grammar freak also sees that his dictionary doesn’t have ‘dictionary’ in it.

    OK, done now.

    (Ass kissers)

  • Goose

    Gawd, no need to take your anger at the spelling correction out on me. I think it’s a cute pic, the way Heather’s board is snuggling with the Green Destiny. It’s not just two snowboards damnit. AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU COLD HEARTED MAN (or woman but I think you’re a man)

  • Dooce is giving us lot on the other side of the Atlantic a chance to get a word in before the comments get to 400. Much appreciated, thank you.

    Well done for finally ‘getting’ snowboarding. I’m still at the sulky ‘there’s no way I can do this and I don’t want any more bruises anyway’ stage…

  • Duh, it’s the board of directors, man.

  • Heather, you’re filling me with delusion of grandeur. I told my partner last night that I wanted to go snow boarding before this winter is over. She just laughed. I’m about the clumsiest person alive. I can’t walk on carpet. Why am I letting you convine me that I could fly down a snowy mountain with something strapped to my feet?

  • Cauri

    So cute!!!

  • kim

    that IS cute.. but where and how’s leta doing? hope it’s not too bad but at least you got chuck’s ass fixed ;o)

  • They look like they’re on display in a museum.

  • Um, is it me or is the whole snowboarding thing dragging on a bit?

  • Remember CanAm, she had a religious experience. That’s gotta affect the postings for a while.

  • Looks like the snowboard on the right didn’t quite escape the fallout from Chuck’s anal sacs.

  • AndiMAC

    Loved ths photo montage from the trip. Especially “Leeego’s” multiple pig tails. Too cute!

  • ap

    I “expressed” my cat’s anal glands myself last year. It involved the shower, scratching, wailing, and a lot of screaming on my part. If I’d ONLY known it would only be $20… never again!

  • Yeah I guess, Niffer. I’m just a bit bitcheroo this morn.

  • squish

    cold. brrr.

  • Right away I was going to comment on the spelling of “weighs” but I see that Grammar Freak beat me to it and apparently has nothing better to do than police your comments section. So I’ll step aside and let GF do his/her self appointed job. And I second the opion offered up yesterday that more Leta pictures would be a welcome sight!

  • so. does this mean GF missed out on ‘snowbaord’?

  • Thinking…

    Gosh, it’s been a long time since I’ve had MY anal sacs squeezed, but I sure as hell remember it costing more than $20!

  • I don’t think I have anal sacs, but anyone who’s willing is more than welcome to check.

    Snowboarding and Anal Sacs — the combination couldn’t be more perfect.

  • Cheryl

    To me it would be considered a “death board”. I wish I knew how to ski… everyone’s raving about it!

  • Dre

    Enough of the snowboarding pics! I wanna see Leego Leego! 😀

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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