Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

In the name of The Father and The Son and The Holy Spirit

  • This is not blasphemous at all! Doggies are creatures of God – remember St. Francis – he’s the patron saint of animals. And God knows that most communion wafers or bread taste like crap, so I am sure he approves of the Frito. When I was a child and had my first communion in the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, my mother warned me that the communion bread didn’t taste so good, and to make sure I ate it without scrunching up my face in disgust. I remember thinking “Well if it really is the body of Christ, it can’t taste all that great”. Well it didn’t. One of the other girls getting her First Communion obviously wasn’t warned and stuck that bread in her mouth and started gagging. If we only knew then that Fritos would suffice.

  • Greenthumb sayeth of his freckles: “My grandma used to tell me they were angel kisses, one day I told her I must of been molested and I thought she was going to wet herself.”

    Dude, if you ever change your mind about girls, you know where to find me. . .

  • greenthumb, love the angel molestation!

    katiebbaw, Amen, sister! Testify!

  • Colleen from NJ: How Cool Are YOU, my friend, to be the first one to spot the cabinet-cross in the background!? I had to scroll back up to check it out.

    “And behold, she did see-eth the sign of the cross in the cabinetry. And it was good.”

  • Yay chuck! funny picture:}

  • ex-seminarian

    Yup, thanks Heather. I was wondering if Chuck still matched your cabinets, or if the patina on the cabinets had darkened them any.

    I know how hard you and Jon worked picking out a cabinet color that is the exact match of your dog.

    p.s., I don’t know what Mormons say, but Catholics say “Body of Christ…”

    p.p.s. my inner altar-boy is now cowering in fear.

  • B4E,

    I started out the good Mormon son and gave you monkey beautches a good run. Even went on a Mission for 2yrs to try and “SAVE” myself. That was stupid…I was with a male companion 24/7. What was I thinking?

    Oh the road I have travelled.

  • Wow, I hadn’t even noticed the cross of the cupboards in the background! Very nice.

    What does Chuck drink in place of wine?

  • amelia

    Mouse, do you know how many of us dooceaholics love when you post a comment?
    Bucky and Striz you guys make me laugh and I can’t believe you can comment all day.

  • Bah!

  • I love Chuck!

  • I presume you’re feeding Chuck one of his anal sacks in that photo.

  • whatever that is looks goood…damn good

  • Annie

    I hope you and the Avon World Sales Leader either cleaned up the Leta mess, or left a big fat tip. Nothing worse in the serving world than kids like that (regardless of the cute quotient) whose parents leave the mess and 10%. Ugg, made me quit serving.

  • Mouse, you are so cute!!!

  • Tater chip! He looks so gleefully expectant. Nothin’ like starch, grease, and salt.

  • love the title of this one!

  • Canadian Amy : “Chuck I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” You almost made me pee my pants. Too many years of Catholic upbringing washed over me just then. Can we build a church for Chuck?

  • Nu Buckky! I du natt hef annitheng 2 cenfiss. I didd eet thatt 1 garbij yistirdey bet I alriddy gat en beeg trebbels 4 dung thatt. Du YEW HAF ANNITHENG 2 CENFESS? Lak bin min 2 yor dag??

  • Good Shot. I always love the action/chip shots.

  • Mouse! You made very pretty t-shirts. I wish I could give you a treat right now.

  • poor dooce, I hate when a kid does that. if i go to lunch with a friend and her small child and she says “i gotta go to the bathroom, can you watch her” and i say sure. and no sooner is mommy out of sight the kid starts to freak out screeeeeming at the top of her voice “MMMMOOOOOMMMMY!”
    and i’m trying to calm here down while every geezer in the restaurant is glaring at me and about half are getting out their cells to call the cops on me. mommy returns “what did you do to her?” and she laughs, she knew what she was doing.

  • Nice quarter-sawn oak cabinets.

  • becaru

    That’s not meat you’re eating on a Friday in Lent is it, Chuck???
    Love the tongue coming out of his mouth so fast that it’s a blurrrrr.

  • mmm meat

  • Body of Mr. Potato Head, Amen.

  • Vote: Chuck for Pope.

  • patrick: if the Pope were for Chuck , Catholics could have meat on Fridays… get it? get it? *sigh*

  • You know frankly I am tired of Matt this and Matt that.

    I was Bennifer, TWICE! Can he say that? No, he can say he did a crappy movie about being attatched to another guy.

    I was in Pearl Harbor people. And Armageddon. You know I made you cry in that. The gazelle animal cracker?

    Come On!! Click my name, thats how big Matts weiner is anyway. He is so jealous.

  • If chuck were the pope we would eat poptarts and pizza on fridays

  • Mouse: No, hon, I have a clean conscience.*he

    I mean, it isn’t dog abuse to helpfully feed a dog his tail while he’s chasing it, right? I was only being accomodating, and I can’t help it if he was pissed when he finally got a good chomp on it.

  • Andrea in Canada

    That’s SOME tongue action Chuck!
    LOL…sounds like I’m talking about my husband since his name is Chuck too and that makes me giggle to myself…

  • Attack of the Jesus ads!

  • i want some pizza

  • Bin: yew sond lak 1 viry bittir and jilis pirsin. Thatt es nat attractif behavur!! Att list yew cann bay yor un trits witott biggeeng 2 stuped peepil 4 thus trits. Att list yew haf a nas warmm plis 2 liv. Att list thatt 1 Jinifir pittid yew. Nubuddy evir pettid mi lak thatt.

    Mamammmamrhammmamama: Think yew 4 seyeeng thatt. I werk viry herd 2 mik thus cul thengs!

  • Striz,
    I was thinkin about a tuna sandwich. But maybe it’s too early for that.

    But how bout some Chocolate Niblet Beans?

  • Tuna sounds good too

  • Striz, Girl.A, should I do the Catholic thing today and go face-first into a tuna taco at lunch?

  • what the hell are niblet beans? and why are they chocolatey?

  • Your such a lesbian Bucky. Does your husband know? You need that doll of his to spank you.

  • Tuna on fresh toasted pumpernickel with thin slivers of purple onion. Fresh black pepper.

    Bucky, I like a sole taco myself, or even halibut if I am going totally white meat, with dill or cilantro and salsa.

  • Striz, I don’t know whey they are called chocolate niblet beans…

    Those folks at who made the movie are on some MAGIC BEANS, methinks.

  • MMM I want a fish taco made by KB

  • once again, the focus is on the snatch of the day…I think it’s time to go drop the kids off at the pool.

  • Christie

    I love the title of this one! It reminds me of how happy I am to be out of organized religion.

  • Chuckster! Tradin’ in pizza for the wafer. Next Friday: Confessional Chuck? Will he say the Rosary? Father Chuck, forgive us. We know not what we do.

  • No need to worry about Chuck with the priests. If they try anything funny, he can just grease ’em with his anal sacs.

    If communion had been that tasty, maybe I wouldn’t have left the church.

  • Em

    Chuck in action!

    Have a great weekend, Dooce and family!

  • Giggles – I’ve got another one for you. These days you don’t have to take the wafer on your tongue, you can have it in your hand and feed it to yourself. My sister told my nephew that when they hand it to him he had better put it in his mouth and not in his pocket. His logic came up with a reason for that…

    “Because if you put it in your pocket and then forget about it, you’ll get Jesus all over the clothes when Mom does the laundry.” HA!

    Guess he’d had a similar experience with gum.

  • That is a great picture Heather! I haven’t laughed so hard in ages and I have five kids!


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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