An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Our plum tree in bloom

  • Jess, whassup with the kitty? Do I need to send kitty mojo your way?

  • smokeyJoe

    thems fighting words. a schmoo i ain’t!

    i have your kitty…

  • I like trees. I like pretty trees. And I also think semen smells like bleach, thankful that it doesn’t taste like it. Not that I would know.

  • _*hugging ladybug*_

  • Does anyone find that semen tastes like wing sauce? Or is that just me? Silence???? Um, ok. LOLOL

    Andrea, so sorry for your loss. That is rough.

  • I love all the flower pics popping up on peoples’ blogs everywhere… ah, spring.

  • Crossing fingers

  • kim

    purdy and springy. very nice. [almost] makes me feel better.

  • hiiidihooo

    which one? missy-poo? she should remember who feeds her.

    yeah schmoos :). i recommend fabulous furry freak bros magazines to anyone. funny as hell :).

  • WHY can’t I get the bold italics thing?

  • Berta

    I wish it tasted like wing!

  • naralius

    my ex semen smelled like bleach… but my boyfriend’s not really and it taste a lot better too. so i dont know, i guess it depends on the person.

  • smokeyJoe

    if jizz tasted like coke, we could teach the world to sing.

  • Mmmm wing sauce. Finger lickin good.

  • LeChico

    oh boy! top 100!!! when has THAT happened.

  • It also depends on what that person eats. Any sort of slightly smelly veggie (asparagus is particularly bad) and you will about pass out. Fruit, think lots of fruit.

  • LeChico


  • hiiidihooo

    uggg disgusting.

  • Thanks for the _*hug*_ Raz.

  • Berta

    Yeah, and it depends on what they eat too! If they insist on blow jobs, they should eat more chocolate.

  • What a lovely picture! Our trees are *just* beginning to bud. I don’t suppose you know what variety of plum that is? Someday when I have a yard in which I can plant things, I’d love to have one of those. I always enjoy reading your posts; thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!

  • Andrea in Canada

    how does a tree of pretty pink blossoms turn a discussion to semen and suicide! ONLY ON DOOCE.COM!! haha!!

  • reenie

    Love the shallow depth of field. I wish my digital camera had a manual feature.

  • I have heard that cornbread makes for some nice tasting jizz.

  • Berta

    Cornbread? HAHA!

  • naralius

    chocolate and fruits…. thanks for the advise

  • becaru

    LOL, Smokey Joe. That was a good un.

  • If they smoke, that tends to change the taste as well. Anything sweet is good. Buy your man a box of chocolates….see if it works.

    I know way too much about this – I promise I do get out of bed sometimes.

  • Michelle

    Very pretty. Wish my trees look like that. Mine look like the landscaping around a Scooby Doo haunted house.

  • Andrea, hugs and prayers for you here. So sorry you’re having to go through that. I know what it’s like.

  • hiiidihooo

    the market is up! yay!

    you should go over to some financial sites like ragingbull. now those are some trolls. whew!

  • Berta

    I’m lucky that my man LOVES chocolate!

  • I want to drown myself in a pool of cum.

    To swallow until I can’t swallow anymore.

    And as I lay on display for the whole world to see someone will nudge their neighbor and wonder if I smell like bleach.

  • Berta

    Now if I could just get him to eat cornbread and stop smoking….

  • texbecks

    Cheryl & greenthumb:

    you’re really taking me back…born in Anderson, SC…raised in NE Georgia. the stinky trees and daffodils were the signs of spring.

  • Berta

    You are hilarious Strizz.

  • Annabelle

    Semen tasting like wing sauce, hmmm. Gross, gross, and grosser. The taste of that particular substance is not something I like to think about- rinse, rinse, rinse and try not to breathe before you can rinse.

    It actually makes me nauseous- if I swallow it.

  • hiiidiho, you’re right about the market. It should be called a troll market. I am glad to see things are back up today. I got freaked out in the past few days.

  • hiiidihooo

    it bounced. not to say it couldn’t crash tomorrow.

  • No kidding. I took a look at my 401k yesterday and almost swallowed my tongue. This economy sucks.

  • Andrea, I wish I could hug you.

  • Michelle

    I don’t want that poison around my mouth. He can keep it to himself. I’ll do the deed but then he can keep the deposit.
    Yuck…he eats nothing that would impove the taste.

  • And what is the big thing with swallowing. Why does it make men feel more manly to have a chick drink that shit?

  • MichelleC

    I am going to change my name so my posts won’t be confused with the other Michelle

  • I wish we could see a picture of Leta doing the sleepy-thumbsucking-crawl, it sounds hilarious!

  • Michelle

    Because they saw it in a porno and they are stupid, and want to brag to their idiot friend about how much she liked it………cavemen

  • The time change done fucked me up.
    If I fly from New York to California, I get jetlag.

  • I never thought of myself as a prude…but wow…a little much for me today….

  • MichelleC

    Why don’t they taste it and see what they think?

  • katiebbaw, you ask the profound questions.
    We need a man to answer that one.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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