An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Eavesdropping, not keeping it to myself, sharing it with the Internet, will feel bad about it later just not right now

I’m sitting at a coffee shop that has free wireless Internet access because our wireless router at home is, suddenly, incompatible with my laptop. I was trying to hold my shit together this morning when I had a Prozac flashback to last summer. Objects were thrown. Other people dodged those objects.

(I’m obviously not taking enough vitamins.)

I’m trying to get some work done but the guy behind the counter WILL NOT SHUT UP about how much dating sucks, that he hasn’t had a date in forever, and how he knows that the perfect woman for him is going to be ugly so he’ll never find her because he won’t date ugly women. And the male customers whom he’s talking to are totally agreeing with him. And just now, just this second he said, “I would fucking kill to be gay. It would just be so much easier.” And they all nodded!

DING DING DING. Guess why you’re not getting any pussy?

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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