the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Modern plumber’s crack

“You haven’t seen The Piano?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Then you totally missed Harvey Keitel’s nutsac and penis.”

“Sex scene?”

“Actually, he’s cleaning his piano when you see them.”

“Makes sense. I’m always naked when I clean my piano.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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