the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Not for kids, no really

“Carpet muncher. Fur bumper. You know.”

“Fur bumper? I haven’t heard that one.”

“You haven’t heard FUR BUMPER? Even better, what about fur burger?”

“FUR BURGER? Oh my god, you are not serious.”

“Fur burger. It’s a burger, with fur!”

“That sounds like someone’s last name, Furburger.”

“You mean like Billy Furburger?”

“More like Martin. Martin Furburger.”

(Said with exaggerated British accent) “Marty Furburger!”

“Dr. Marty Furburger, OBGYN.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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