the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The consequences of living online

“Do you get the feeling now that certain people are going to be judging every move we make? That we’re not going to be able to take a shit without them wondering how much money we spent doing so?”

“You better not mention that we’ve upgraded to the Double Roll.”

“The ULTRA Double Roll.”

“With 2-ply sheets.”

“The sheets of 4 regular rolls in 1!”

“Whereas before we just drip-dried.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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