the smell of my desperation has become a stench

With 7 vitamins and minerals

“She only wants to eat the marshmallows out of the Franken Berry.”

“I know, but the marshmallows aren’t much worse than the Franken Berry itself.”

“I don’t care about it being worse, it’s just a pain having to sift out the marshmallows. Didn’t they make a cereal with all marshmallows? That would be so much easier.”

“A cereal with all marshmallows?”

“Yeah, no crunchy parts, just marshmallows.”

“Yes, Jon. It’s called A BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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