the smell of my desperation has become a stench

My audition tape for “Hee Haw”

Jon and I were playing around with his laptop tonight and he recorded me asking “whether or not his computer was connected to the wireless router,” the English translation for what I actually said (which you can listen to here). I know what you’re thinking, because after listening to it myself even I am wondering why he voluntarily lives with that woman.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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