the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The Comment Policy, or Where I Tell the Trolls to Suck It

The first thing you should know about this comment policy is that it is subject to change at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all, just because I said so. You will notice that this is a recurring theme throughout this policy.

By leaving a comment on this website you acknowledge all of the following:

(a) All comments left on this website become property of this website.

(b) Despite (a) cannot be held responsible for the accuracy or validity of the content contained in any of the comments.

(c) The opinions of the authors of the comments do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this website, so if you have an issue with what anyone has said in their comment please take it up with them or call your mom.

(d) Please leave Britney Spears alone.

(e) Once a comment has been posted it cannot be edited and that means you had better check to make sure BEFORE YOU POST A COMMENT that your name reads exactly like you want it to read. I will not honor any email requests to go back into your comment and change your name or your website address. Why? For so many reasons, but mainly because I said so.

(f) Comments can be deleted or rejected at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all, just because I said so.

(g) No, really. Go back and read (f).

(h) Have you read (f)? Because I’m not kidding.

(i) A comment thread will most likely be closed within two days. Once a comment thread is closed it will not be re-opened and I will not honor any email requests to re-open it. For real.

(j) If your comment says, “FIRST!” or anything like it I will print it out and run it over with my car. Right after I delete it.

(k) Be nice even if you are being contrary. We’re all in this together.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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