the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Wise men

A man on the television is lying in bed with his wife recounting the day he had at work. “I told my coworker not to worry,” he says, “because with age comes experience. And with experience comes wisdom.”

“What comes with wisdom?” his wife asks him. And both Jon and I let out an exaggerated moan when the man says, “You!”

“That’s so lame,” I say. “I was hoping that with wisdom comes great hair.”

“Really?” says Jon. “Because I happen to know that with wisdom comes a really big schlong.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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