For his own good

“Heather, have you seen my clogs?”

“Your clogs?”

“Yes, my clogs.”

Oh! You mean those shoes that look like the warted claws of a creature who lives under a bridge and dines on the intestines of ferrets?”

“I’m serious. Where are they?”

Those things you forced our dog to wear, and then afterward his paws fell off?”

“Where did you put them?”

“I think I may have accidentally destroyed them.”