Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Clog Standoff: Hour 51

  • FINALLY on my 87th try, TypeKey let me log in. Jeez. Anyway, I hate the Crocs myself, though I love Birks. I think it is hilarious that your household stand off over the crocs is being played out over the pages of the internet.

  • I considered buying a pair of those, but at the time, I was 9 months pregnant, my feet were the size of hams, and I lived in Berkeley. I also considered rubber-banding plastic bags to my swollen feet.

    There’s no reason for an unpregnant man with perfectly normal feet living in Utah to have to wear clogs. Team Heather.

  • Are those the god awful rubber clogs made for gardening? Much as I feel that house pants should stay in the house, I feel gardening clogs should stay in the garden.

  • RDZ

    My husband wears clogs. Not Crocs, thank jeebus, but the Birkenstock variety. I can approve of those, sort of.

    It’s all about choosing one’s battles, and mine is the battle between back hair and clogs. The clogs won and the back hair is but a memory.

    Crocs are gross, though. Unless you’re a nurse or a maximum-security prisoner or Mario Batali, take ’em off!

    Perhaps Chuck needs some new toys to chew on?

  • It’s such an awful name, too. Imagine it in conversation.

    “Hey, what do you think of that girl?”
    “Oh, dude. She’s a clog!”

    Would you really want to associate something like that with your feet?

  • you really think tying laces is all it’s cracked up to be? I’m with Jon… CLOGS RULE.

  • WickedlySharp

    Dear merciful heavens! Finally, you took those hideous cow pie stompers away from him!

    No Man Should EVER Wear Clogs. …women either. Ugh. Bleah. Puhtooie!

    they clash with everything that is decent and good, as well as sexy and attractive. So they CANNOT be in the same area code as you, babe. 😉

    Fight the clogger!

  • I am behind you all the way. Down with clogs!

  • Rhi

    My realtor was wearing clogs on Monday while she was showing us a house. THAT alone almost got her fired.

    I’m with you!

  • All right, I was fine until somebody started bashing Steely Dan.

    The gloves are comin’ OFF! And the clogs are stayin’ ON!

  • I’m in – he should never get those horrible things back.

  • Sheryl

    Free the clogs!

  • fernicus

    Yes, they are very, very comfortable. NO, THEY ARE NOT CUTE!! People, these shoes can be “sterilized with water and bleach” and “are bacteria and odor resistant”. ( Great for medical professionals and all their feet encounter. Not so great for fashion potential.

    Being practical, I say, if Jon needs shoes that can be sterilized, let him have them. Then have a long serious talk about what he’s doing while wearing them.
    If he doesn’t need shoes that can be sterilized, pitch them. It’s for his own safety. Those shoes have big holes, no heel, and you have tarantulas.

  • I’m with you on the clog front and with Jon on the CRAYON front.

  • I’m on your side, Heather.

    Me no likey the clogs.

  • Ha! I’m behind ya all the way! Ugliest freakin shoes on earth…

  • Julia’s Mom


    Clogs are the Steely Dan of footwear.

  • patchuga

    Um…why the hell does it matter what your husband, a grown man, wears on his own damn feet? I would wager that if he started hiding your high heeled shoes you’d be equally pissed off.

    The crocs look comfortable and are not as ugly as a flip flop. Let the man have his shoes. Even if you think they’re ugly, it’s a small thing. My husband has a pair of bright yellow sweatpants that he likes to wear…and has even worn them outside the house. They’re ugly, they’re a tad small, and I personally think wearing sweatpants outside the house screams “I’ve given up.” But…he’s a good daddy, a good husband, and he’s a grown man capable of making his own footwear/fashion decisions. Just like Jon.

    Geez Louise.

  • Oh, Heather. Men, especially older men, deserve a little leeway on their shoes. There are no cute strappy sandals for them. There aren’t a lot of shoes for them that are forgiving of “Man Feet” in general.

    Just let Jon have his clogs back, and be glad he’s not like my boyfriend, who at age 51 thinks that no man should have a pedicure and insists on wearing sandals that show off his gnasty Man Feet and Callous Toe in all their gory details. I’m really glad he’s taller than me, because I couldn’t sleep knowing those Feet had the slightest chance of touching mine and perhaps slicing my delicate skin open. As it is, they’re 14 inches closer to the end of the bed than mine.

    See, there are worse things than clogs.

  • J Niel

    I don’t mind most clogs, but I can’t stand those Crocs clogs! I just don’t get it… As my luck would have it, two of the company’s founders just purchased a home down the street from me, so I can imagine nearly my entire neighborhood will be sporting them by the time fall rolls around. 🙁

  • ryan

    Stop the clog insanity… the Conciliatory Liberation Of Good Shoes (C.L.O.G.S.) will happen because the Army of Clog will bring about the peace of clog lovers everywhere!

    Go Jon!!!

  • Those stupid plastic clogs are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UGLY!! Why are so many people wearing them???!!!

  • I don’t understand the clog thing. Sure, I tried them once. But they made me feel like my feet were going to abandon ship at any moment.
    I just can’t live like that, you know?

  • momma 2 angels

    Now you’re on a roll so seize the opportunity to toss that natty t-shirt you so despise too! Better clean out the entire closet. It’s for his own good after all.

  • tish

    My husband actually banned me from buying those. BANNED.

  • I suggest you return those clogs, or your mailbox will be full of them soon!

  • mediaguy74

    Has he threatened you yet to withold nookie if he doesnt get his clogs back?

  • di

    Heather – now is the time to back down and give him the clogs back. Then, in later years when you need him to relent on something he’s firmly for (or against), you can cite the return of the clogs as reasoning why he should do what you want.


    This isn’t about clogs, it’s about leverage! Get it while you can!

  • MomGoneWild

    Quoting (k) of the dooce comment policy which reads, “Be nice,” I say: give the handsome man his ugly shoes back.

  • Um, Heather, I did done used to have you on my fave peeps list.

    But, um, I need to side with da man here – on clogs and crayons.

    sorry, dear.

  • curlyhairday

    Now, I’m not totally anti-clog…I used to work food-service and believe in the lifesaving power of Dansko…but man clogs? outside the kitchen? no, darling.

    And what’s more? The Manolo has your back, Dooce:

  • Yellowmug

    The best part of this is that all the ads coming up on this site are in favor of clogs. For once, I’m on the side of the big corporations!

  • Ktkat

    Hang in there… those things are EVIL. And I do mean EEEEEEEEVIL.

  • Mack’sMom


    Sadly I do agree with Laura McMasters…but before I sell my soul to the clog Gods, we need to remember that ‘straight’ men don’t know any better! It’s our duty as wives and the women that love them to keep them from continuing their fashion mistakes!

    My husband seems to think its okay to wear socks with his Addis flip-flops. He knows better than try and leave the house with me dressed that way, but if wants to wear them around the yard or house I could care less.

    Married women will all agree….Your husbands appearance reflects on you. Sad, but true.

  • kwan

    darnit heather, return the man his clogs already. HE GAVE YOU CHILD. isn’t that reason enough?

  • bonkersmomof4

    Yes, they are ugly. I even called them “those stupid ugly shoes” when I was scouring the city for baby blue ones for my daughter. Then I was very nearly physically forced to try them on, at Payless, by a managerial type guy. So, Heather and all you other croc haters, don’t knock it till you try it!

    Of course, my Born clogs are pretty comfy too…just no good when it’s raining.

  • Laura McMasters

    Why do you even care what shoes your husband wears? It annoys me to think that the same people who agree with you on this clog jihad would also scream bloody murder if the tables were turned, and Jon was the one telling you what you weren’t allowed to wear.

  • Ok, I just gotta say. I made fun of those for a long time. Then I put some on my preggo swelling feet. They are just too damn comfy. My hubby is also Dutch, the home of clogs. I gotta go with Jon on this one! lol!

  • dinis

    from Will & Grace:

    Will: They’re clogs. They’re good for your back.
    Grace: They’re good for the back of your closet.

  • gdawg

    Um, your husband has linked to a picture from on his site, saying that even famous people (although it seems pretty limited) wear clogs.

    It appears that they also wear aqua cargo capris with their clogs.

    You can tell Jon that the famous people thing just ain’t gonna work if that’s all he’s got. =)


    Just give in Heather..just give in there are too many of us, surrender now and no one will be hurt!

    Honestly just put them on your feet and your life will be changed.

  • Are we anti-clogs in all circumstances? I mean… what about ER doctors and nurses? Or… doing the laundry or something?

    I’m just saying… it’s not all black and white here.

  • Are we anti-clogs in all circumstances? I mean… what about ER doctors and nurses? Or… doing the laundry or something?

    I’m just saying… it’s not all black and white here.

  • T.

    Men should not wear clogs. END OF STORY.


  • Why is it that comfortable and stylish always seem to be mutually exclusive when it come to clothes, shoes, etc.?

    I’m with you Heather- ban the clogs! Think of the children! Won’t somebody please think of the Children?!?!

  • I know they’re completely hideous, but Crocs do feel pretty fantastic on my 8-month pregnant feet.

    Sick, but true.

  • I have one thing to say to you. At least they are not bright orange like the one my hubby loves.

  • Yak

    OK, so clogs aren’t exactly sexy-looking. But DAMN, they are comfortable. My husband and I both wear them. They’re especially good for people with wide or otherwise weirdly shaped feet (don’t know if Jon qualifies there). And for a man who works at home and therefore doesn’t need wingtips to go with his power tie, what the hell? You could be worse off — having to look at him wearing old-man mall-walkers:

  • victoria

    Awww, he’s so lucky he has someone in his life who loves him enough to take away the clogs.

  • And #104-Kate, I totally disagree. Whenever I see crocs, I immediately think crunchy, granola, hippy hipster.

    Followed quickly by a little whisper that chants: “kill! kill! kill!”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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